Remember Fraggle Rock? Do you? Oooooh! Yes! There was… uh… Wembley. Red. The one in the dressing gown. Um. Those little fellas who had scaffolding made from sugar or something. And then there was the giant lummox with the allotment. And… er… Marjory the Trash Heap.
Oh, and if you watched it in the UK, there was that weirdo who lived in a lighthouse with his jaded canine.
What memories. What fuzzy, vague memories often brought about by the singing of the theme tune, especially when the lyrics were made dirty, swinging a Fraggle by its cock. Salad days. Salad days which could well be utterly ruined by the inclusion of the Scissor Sisters. What now?
That’s right! There’s going to be a feature length film of The Fraggles, which saves us from yet another hokey Muppets flick where Kermit has to do all the emoting with that sad, pathetic face of his.
It’ll be interesting to see how The Fraggles translate to the big screen. We can only imagine that they’ll escape their cave to see the outside world and generally get into scrapes as well as puzzling at the duality of the human condition… or something. Uncle Travelling Matt will probably give them good restaurant tips wherever they end up.
But no-one will be able to save the Fraggles, and us, from a musical nightmare as it has been reported that Jake Shears from the Scissor Sisters is writing the music for the movie.
That’s the man who rhymed ‘fire’ with ‘fire’, before adding fire’s best musical friend, ‘desire’. Blecch.
Personally, we don’t know why the Fraggles didn’t write their own music. They don’t need the stupid Scissor Sisters. Jake Shears never wrote a song as good as the theme tune (or the brilliant Webba Webba, which you can search for yourself on YouTube).
Sigh.
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