Like movie stars and music moguls, television people like nothing better than an evening of expensive outfits, impressive golden statuettes changing hands, and beautiful faces all sitting around telling one another just how brilliant they all are at their jobs. It’s only a shame that such wonderful nights out don’t stretch into normal jobs.
We shall only ever dream of a day when undervalued stone masons and building site skivvies get to breeze around outside hotels shouting details of their suits/blouses to hysterical reporters. What a great day that would be.
Last night it was the 61st edition of The Emmy Awards, so everyone who couldn’t quite cut it on the big screen turned up, their skin soft and shiny, their hair just about achieving the perfection they demand. Embarrassingly, practically all of the males in attendance turned up in the same dinner-suit-plus-tie outfit. The women, meanwhile, shimmered and sparkled like fireworks at an eighteen year old boy’s impromptu bonfire night party in the back garden with most of his friends. Seriously. They looked that amazing.?
The big cock-punch of the evening went to the gigantic throbbing minds behind Family Guy, who were hoping to become one of the first cartoons to snaffle the Best Comedy gong. There’s a whisper that The Flintstones did it about sixty years ago, or something. But it wasn’t to be. Instead, the cheerful 30 Rock gang were awarded their third in a row, meaning that the show’s creator, Tina Fey, can now think about giving her Emmy’s a hilarious nickname – like The Bee Gees, or ZZ Top. Or any other band that consists of three members. She’ll have fun with that. She’s a creative woman. She loves challenges.
On the downside for Fey, she did lose out in the battle of the women with four-letter names beginning with T, when Toni Collette took the grand prize as Most Fantastic Actress Making Everyone Laugh in a Comedy. For those not up on these things, she stars as a bonkers maniac in a show called United States of Tara. Well done her. Luckily for the 30 Rock crew, Alec Baldwin did make up for the howling disappointment of it all by winning the male version of the same prize.
Elsewhere, Mad Men – the tale of men smoking at work, and the sexy ginger one convincing timid secretaries to have it off with their bosses – was declared Greatest Drama. Glenn Close, who will be forever remembered as the recipient of the full Michael Douglas tongue in Fatal Attraction, triumphed as a dramatic actor, as did Bryan Cranston, who was repeatedly overlooked for his stunning work in Malcolm in The Middle. The Academy – or whoever it is – is clearly making up for that now. He won for Breaking Bad.
Here’s what Jessica Lange said at one point during the evening:
“I can’t believe I’m standing here.”
You tell them, sister!
Like this? Then check out more of Josh at Interestment. Go! Do it!
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter