"Forget what you've been told," the voiceover booms during TV spots for The Da Vinci Code. Obviously this means "We know everyone says The Da Vinci Code is terrible but still pay to watch it please."
But the good people of Pakistan won't ever even have the chance to forget what they've been told about The Da Vinci Code, because The Da Vinci Code movie has been banned there, with the government citing the usual excuses of blasphemy, degradation of the Christ and that shoddy barney balancing on top of Tom Hanks' head.
For an overlong boring film full of shouting exposition based on an overlong boring book that's convinced everyone that they're Silvester Jenks, The Da Vinci Code sure has caused a lot of trouble. Despite briefly being the number one movie at the US weekend box office, The Da Vinci Code managed to whip Catholics into a fervour not seen since all those priesty child abuse stories surfaced a few years ago. Such was the concern about The Da Vinci Code that at one point Tom Hanks was forced to ask the Catholics to pipe down. Then The Da Vinci Code was released and everyone realised it was lousy, and all the controversy died down.
But then Pakistan got wind of The Da Vinci Code, and it's all kicked off again. After protests by Pakistani Christians – who really should have learnt about forgiveness if they've read the Bible properly – the Pakistani government has decided to ban The Da Vinci Code from reaching its shores. Pakistan Culture Minister Ghulam Jamal has said of The Da Vinci Code:
"Islam teaches us to respect all the prophets of Allah Almighty and degradation of any prophet is tantamount to defamation of the rest."
Not only that, but Pakistan is also looking to ban the Da Vinci Code book, which has already been freely on sale for a number of years. Perhaps the Pakistani government is mostly offended by the new, movie tie-in edition of the book, because it has a big stupid picture of Tom Hanks' awful hair all over the front of it.
Read more:
Pakistan bands Da Vinci Code film – BBC
[story by Stuart Heritage]