"Don't you wonder sometimes," David Bowie once sang, "about Sound and Vision?" To which hecklerspray usually replies "nah, not really. They're just sense-based parameters that the brain has developed to perfection over countless millennia of evolution."
What we do wonder about, however, is the sense of smell… in particular, how this sense would be affected by years of exposure to Uncle Escobar's Nose Sherbert. And then we saw Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. In a move now commonly known as 'doing a Westbrook', Tomkinson – now six years clean – has found that her dainty little nose is in imminent danger of collapsing in on itself.
An appearance at Tuesday's Grazia Lifetime Awards (nope, us neither) reportedly left assembled spectators 'horrified' at the appearance of Tara Palmer-Tomkinson's busted schnoz. One spectator mewled:
"Tara was dressed up and looked terrific, but her nose was in a terrible state. I couldn't stop staring at it because it had such a strange indentation. It was the talk of the party."
Ah. Hecklerspray knows all too well how it feels to be the talk of the party. But mainly because we did a wee-wee in the punch bowl and refused to stop playing our favourite Napalm Death CD. Reflecting on the damage caused by her £400-a-day habit, dimwit Tara burbled:
"I was a dead woman walking. I needed help, or I knew I was going to die. I would do more than five grams of coke a day. In the end, I didn't do lines – I did the whole lot as one. I threw the stuff in the air and sniffed clouds of it."
The things that addiction can do, eh? It's almost worth forgetting that young Ms. Tomkinson is a self-absorbed, overprivileged gentrified shithead with all the charm, common sense and social awareness of a developmentally-disabled cockroach. Almost. Maybe we'll just leave the final word to Daily Mail comment-maker Buddy Little, who reasons that:
"Addiction does not discriminate between rich or poor, black or white, red or yellow, famous or not."
"Red or yellow?" Christ only knows what you'd have to take to have that effect. But if any of you know how to get hold of some, drop us an email.
Read More:
Cocaine abuse takes toll on Tara's collapsing nose – Daily Mail
[story by C J Davies]