Take the Sex and the City movie, for example. Rehashing a series that had finished on TV less than five years previously seemed to hecklerspray as something of a cynical cash-in. And it worked. Did it ever work . So who can blame the struggling execs in tinseltown for turning to another much-loved TV property with a push at converting it for the big screen, even though the topsoil on its grave is still fresh?

Yes, friends, there are rumours they're re-doing Friends. But for now, even though everyone in the world seems to be harping on about it, these rumours are nothing but that. There may be hope yet.

When it comes to barely-even-dead TV shows heading to the big screen there are few occasions when it's a genuinely good idea. The Sex and the City film proved it was a lucrative idea, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's a good one. It does if you're a money-hoarding twit, mind, but if you have any integrity whatsoever it's probably better to leave these projects alone. Let them die, especially when they went on for ten years and tied up every loose end imaginable over the course.

Don't re-open the wounds, don't rehash the same storylines, don't break up the established relationships and don't create new problems from lives that fans of the show have accepted as being 'on course'. Oh, and retroactively: don't give Joey a spin-off. It won't work. hecklerspray feared the worst when rumours popped up earlier this week that all of those sins were about to be committed in one glorious two-hour epic of utterly unbelievable lives, 'being there for yoooou' and Phoebe being a shit character.

But thank crikey if there haven't been two massive wedges of sense in the space of a day – first the tabloid 'zines turn down messr Lohan's approaches to sell the story of the child that may not even be his, and now it would seem that the raping of an only very recently dead TV corpse is to be left alone. For the time being, at least. Matthew Perry – or Chandler, or that one off that cancelled TV show that was quite good, for those who don't know him outside of Friends (i.e. most people, thanks to his stellar movie career) – has a publicist, Lisa Kasteler, and she said these words using her mouth:

"Nothing is happening in this regard, so the rumour is false."

She couldn't have put it better if she tried. Well, she could – she could have swore or something, as we all know swearing is fucking cool. But for 'getting straight to the point' points, she scores high.

But this leaves something of a void in the minds of the Hollywood decision-makers. Well, we should say 'more of a void than the normal vacuous space that should resemble the creative part of a human brain in the minds of the Hollywood decision-makers'. Without a tried-and-tested formula, what can they do? Come up with something new? Do a sequel? Release the same rom-com again with a different title?

hecklerspray has a suggestion, one that we're willing to give up for free, just this once. It covers the TV-remake base and has genuine potential, as well as being a worthy transition from small to big screen, not just a bloated cash-in.

Arrested Development: The Movie.

Make that and most of your sins for being rubbish bastards will be forgiven.

True, this is perhaps the 27th time he personally has sparked the rumours of Blur reuniting.

And, true, it’ll almost certainly be as fruitless as the rest of them. But still, anything to make people realise the Kaiser Chiefs are nothing but an insulting pretender to their throne is worth commenting on.

It’s been five years since they released Think Tank; a kind of ‘half-good, half-wanky’ take on modern culture (a feeling encapsulated perfectly by the usage of a Banksy painting on the front cover – the King of ‘half-good, half-wanky’). Since then the Blur boys have all taken their own unique paths.

Lead guitarist Graham Coxon – one of the greatest guitar players in the world (how will the hecklerspray massive react to that statement we wonder?) was the first to leave the band. He featured on just one track of Think Tank before realising that the studio walls weren’t big enough to hold his talent and Damon’s ego.

And we can only thank baby Jesus for that, for he has since gone on to become the finest solo-artist in the country (think differently do ya? Well bring it on. And if any of you so much as think of challenging that with Paolo Nutini, then prepare for the wrath of hecklerspray).

Damon Albarn, the self-confessed overlord of creativity, has, among other things, made an album in Mali with a bunch of Malinese musicians, which was lovely.

He has furthered his work with Gorillaz and announced himself to be a communist – something that finally explains the collaboration with Ken Livingstone in The Great Escape on the track Old Arnold Same.

No wonder Oasis won.

Damon’s latest project was to make a Chinese opera with the Gorillaz, which he composed via some interesting yet half-wanky thinking. He said:

I created a mathematical system that guaranteed I wouldn’t be able to use any of my western melodic ideas. I came up with this system based on a series of numbers that relate to the five pointed star of the Communist party. Then there is a fight scene based on a 15 point star system. You rotate the numbers on the star and put in different keys

A genius, or a wanker? You decide.

Dave Rowntree, the drummer, was famous for having literally no personality. He has since gone on to become a Labour MP.

And Alex James has become a farmer who, as previously stated, makes his own cheese, writes about life in the countryside endlessly, telling stories about hanging out with flocks of sheep and Jeremy Clarkson.

Little wonder then that his voice is the most often heard in regards to a reunion.

Damon recently dismissed the idea of a Blur reunion, because none of them need the money, but Alex aint so sure. According to the Evening Echo, he said:

We’re all pretty busy, but I’d be surprised if it never happens, but I would be terrified if it was happening on Monday.

Sunday, Sunday, here again, a walk in the farm, you speak to Jeremy Clarkson and you make some cheese, you dream of Blur reuniting, cos the life you’ve made is depressing, to gather the band around the table, and have another go, fuck those Sunday sheeeeep.

Yeah, it may turn out they’re half as good as before, but half as good as old Blur is twice as good as new Kaiser Chiefs and as far as the youth of today are concerned all we used to listen to was the Spice Girls and Take That.

Come back and show them there was more.

Read More – James Hints at Blur reunion – Evening Echo