Posts tagged as:

Reality TV

Kris Humphries To Expose Kardashian Klan

by Mof Gimmers

It was incredibly shocking and downright upsetting to find out that Kim Kardashian did things just to make money and further her presence in the tabloids. We thought she was the real-deal until her 72 day marriage to Kris Humphries.

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Sinead O’Connor Hates TV Talent Shows (But You Knew That Already, Didn’t You?)

by Robin Darke

Sinead O’Connor has been in the news quite a lot recently. First she was getting married and everyone was all ‘ZOMG?! Really?’ and then it turns out she was going to get divorced for some bollocks, and everyone was all ‘Really?’ and then she got married again and no one commented and just sighed loudly before quickly flicking to the MetroLife page of the Metro.

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Kim Kardashian To Finally Get Her Comeuppance Via The Magic Of TV

by Robin Darke

Well all know that Kim Kardashian is the very pinnacle of media whoredom, leapfrogging other visionaries as Paris Hilton, Tulisa Contostavlos and the rest of the Kardashian sisters, to the crown of Most Annoying Slag 2012. And we all know why, because she wants to show everything that happens through the medium of television, even though her television shows are so tucked and trimmed that if they were pies, they would be the most disgusting tasting pies ever. Though they would look great.

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And Now, Kim Kardashian Will Try To Convince You She Has A Soul

by Mof Gimmers

Hahaha! Aw, bless! Kim Kardashian is making a tall claim. A really, really tall one. So tall, it’s a certifiable freak-show. Basically, she’s trying to convince us all that she’s got a soul. And with it, she’s searched it. A lot. That’s right, the term, ‘soul-searching’ has been mentioned in the inevitable and orchestrated break-up [...]

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Kitty Brucknell Has Sex With Justin Timberlake Impersonator: Everything In World Ever Now Comparatively An Emaciated Husk

by Sophie Hall

Hello! This story doesn’t make any sense! In fact, this story is so categorically stupid that it requires a key. So, here is a key. KEY, YEAH? *SCOTT JORDAN – Man who says he looks like Justin Timberlake and substantiates this claim with a photo of himself in a trilby, which apparently is something the [...]

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Chantelle Houghton’s Unborn Foetus Getting A Bit Tired Of All The Publicity To Be Honest.

by Paul Pencott

Dreadful orange sloppy-seconds-bargain-bin-Jordan Chantelle ‘Chantelle’ Houghton, not content with hawking her fake breasts, fake eyelashes and, we presume, non-fake pregnant belly has this week launched an all-out assault on anyone with any sense of decorum whatsoever. Appearing in nothing more than a bikini in more tatty publications and websites than we were even aware existed [...]

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Even Though You’re Ugly, Don’t Date Kelly Rowland

by Mof Gimmers

Remember when Kelly Rowland didn’t have that nose and those boobs? And all that new hair too. She’s a transformed woman! As a result, she’s got herself a moderately successful solo career and some TV work. Alas, everyone was absolutely convinced that she was drunk all the time. Y’all. Y’ally, y’all y’all. And so, now [...]

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Little Mix And Tulisa Toast X Factor Success With A Kebab

by Matthew Laidlow

Hey you, quick, come out from behind the sofa. It’s all over, honest. After nearly four months, the auto-tuned X Factor singers won’t be making anymore feature length appearances on ITV to ruin your weekend. As we all know, Little Mix were voted as the winners. Or, it was all fixed by Simon Cowell for [...]

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The X Factor Final Review: The One Where No More X Factor Ever Ever Happened Ever Again For a Bit

by Sophie Hall

Hello. Do you remember when you watched The X Factor final yesterday? Well, by an astonishing coincidence, so did we. And crikey, wasn’t it just totally and definitely and absolutely unequivocally passable? Yeah. Take that, H8ERS. *Dermot tongue roll* ALRIIIIGHT. It was in two halves, like the bloody brilliant darling that it is. Is it [...]

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Little Mix Can Supposedly Change People’s Lives

by Matthew Laidlow

Tomorrow is the final of the X Factor. It’s the one episode of the series that most of the general public tune-in for, apart from the audition rounds when we can laugh at delusional, frog-eyed members of the public. Other talent shows may spend the maximum of sixty minutes announcing their winner, but X Factor [...]

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