Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

The world of the paranormal can sometimes seem to be stuffed with mundane monsters. Anytime Bigfoot sees a camera he high steps it out of range. And Nessie – she’ll occasionally allow her floating-log looking hump to be photographed from a distance, but she’s far too shy for a close up.

Not so for the Brosno Dragon! It’s best known for eating Mongol armies and swallowing Nazi warplanes.

Until recently we’ve hated Russia with a deep resolve – what with their hours-long breadlines and throaty dialect. Can you blame us? Suddenly, however, we’re realising that as paranormal things go they seem to be the hub of everything great. Case in point – the Koranic kid and the crazy footage of the Communist army milling about the remnants of a crashed UFO.

Yes, awesomeness like that almost Earns Russia 15 minutes alone with Obama’s secret nuclear code briefcase. If anyone in authority can make this happen, we really think they’ve earned it.

Keep in mind it’s only OK because they’ve been such an Awesome or Off-Putting hotbed of late. We already gave you the two recent examples – and now let us present you with a third: The Brosno Dragon.

The locals lovingly refer to it as Brosnya, and as we understand it the thing is basically Nessie with a taste for musky human flesh and fine tuned German engineering. Confused? Wikipedia shall clarify:

“Rumors of a strange, giant creature living in Lake Brosno have existed for several centuries. One legend says that the lake monster scared to death the Tatar-Mongol army that headed for Novgorod in the 13th century. Batu Khan stopped the troops on the sides of Lake Brosno to rest. Horses were allowed to drink water from the lake. However, when the horses ventured down to the lake, a huge roaring creature emerged from the water and started devouring horses and soldiers. The Batu-khan troops were so terrified that they turned back, and Novgorod was saved. Old legends describe an “enormous mouth” devouring fishermen. Chronicles mention a “sand mountain” that appeared on the lake surface from time to time. According to another legend, some Varangians (Swedish mercenaries) wanted to hide stolen treasure in the lake. When they approached the small island, a dragon came to the surface from the lake and swallowed the island up.”

Now compare that, if you will, to this recent Nessie sighting:

“We rounded the corner and saw [Nessie] taking a dump and reading the sports section. Most unexpected.”

Nessie is a stupid pussy. If that quote is true at all Nessie is a stupid pussy. The Russian monster is way better – and to top it all off, Wikipedia goes on to say this about her:

“It is said that during WWII the beast swallowed up a German airplane.”

This is a fact that becomes all the more compelling when you note that a National Geographic photo-shoot of the incident clearly shows the propellers were still spinning.

That’s so neat.

We can’t actually say that the most noble NG was on site. In fact, we can definitely say that they weren’t. We can say that other people claim to have scientifically looked into the matter – as found on the site Unknown Explorers:

“In the summer of 2002, Experts from the Kosmopoisk Research Association along with members from Karavan Magazine, went on an expedition to Lake Brosno and did deep echo location sounding. Vadim Chernobroiv, the Kosmopoisk coordinator said in an interview to the Moscow newspaper that the sonar research registered an anomaly. There was a huge jelly like mass the size of a railway car roughly five meters above the bottom of the lake. The mass stood motionless, until the group decided to throw an underwater petard, a low capacity explosive devise, at the mass. When the device detonated the mass started going up and although nothing ever surfaced resembling a monster the test did return some interesting results.”

Now that Russian science has once and for all proved that they are good at things besides just making two-headed dogs and gorilla hybrid super soldiers, well, we really think they’ve earned a crack at that briefcase.

C’mon Obama. You’re just being stingy.

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Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

When it comes to aliens there are generally three kinds – the fuzzy ones that eat cats and thrive on prime-time TV, there’s the kind with the broom-helmets that occasionally show up to thwart Bugs Bunny, and there’s the super hot ones to which all of mankind happily hands over their planet. Like on V.

Add to that all inclusive list, if you will, the Nordics. Like the ones an off-duty police officer just reported encountering.

When people talk aliens they generally think of little gray fellows with enormous black eyes and a chest-full of lubricated items destined for earthlings’ bum-bums. Those creatures certainly are real, as our poor uncle Albert’s scab-covered underwear drawer will surely attest, but they aren’t the topic-aliens of the day.

That’s because today we’re talking about the Nordics – those tall blond aliens from another galaxy that we assume got here in a big wooden spaceship powered by dozens of enslaved oarsmen. In this, our hour of need, we’ll let Wikipedia get you up to speed on these guys:

“Nordic aliens (Aryan aliens) is a name given to what are said to be a group of humanoid extraterrestrials. They are so named because they are said to resemble Nordic, Scandanavian, or Aryan racial images. Nordic aliens form a notable part of UFO/abduction belief and the contactee movement in European and Latin American nations, but are not commonly found in accounts from the US.”

The European nation where today’s account takes place is England. To set the stage, picture a lone policeman, off-duty and care free. He’s cruising through the countryside when he happens upon a crop circle. And in said crop circle he sees this (according to the Telegraph):

“The sergeant, who has not been named, was off-duty when he saw the figures standing in a field near Silbury Hill, and stopped his car to investigate. However, as he approached the ‘men’ – all over 6ft tall with blond hair – he heard “the sound of static electricity” and the trio ran away ”faster than any man he had ever seen”.

Andrew Russell, a crop circle researcher, summed up the Sergeant’s experience like this (Also from the Telegraph):

“[The Sergeant] said: ”At first he thought they were forensic officers as they were dressed in white coveralls. He stopped his car and approached the field. ”The figures were all over 6ft and had blond hair. They seemed to be inspecting the crop. When he got to the edge of the field he heard what he believed to be a sound not dissimilar to static electricity. ”This crackling noise seemed to be running through the field and the crop was moving gently, close to where the noise was. ”He shouted to the figures who, at first, ignored him, not glancing at him. When he tried to enter the field they looked up and began running. ”He said; ‘They ran faster than any man I have ever seen. I’m no slouch but they were moving so fast. I looked away for a second and when I looked back they were gone. ”I then got scared. The noise was still around but I got an uneasy feeling and headed for the car. For the rest of the day I had a pounding headache I couldn’t shift.””

Why exactly the Nordics ran off like that is unknown – it sounds pretty weak though. Comparatively speaking, green aliens bang on rooves and what-not trying to terrify the people that have seen them. And the gray aliens – they’ll melt off your fingers. If the best the tall blond aliens can muster is a quick escape on foot (not even in a spaceship), well that’s not overly impressive.

Of course we probably wouldn’t say that to their faces.

No, we wouldn’t do that.

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Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Roswell’s big problem is it’s all word of mouth. There are these tremendous claims of what went on there, but why believe a low-brow farmer? The same goes for Kecksburg. Sure, we’ve heard the military hauled out a tarp-covered something-or-other that was shaped like a gigantic acorn, but show us the pictures.

That said, there’s finally a UFO-crash discovery that was caught on film – and we owe it all to commie-riddled Russia!

There are only two pieces of news that ever come out of Russia. The first is that Joseph Stalin’s nipples used to bleed every Easter. Some say it was a heavenly reminder of his parents’ religion that he so casually cast aside. This news re-breaks every two years or so. Wait for it – you’ll see.

The second news story that always breaks from the formerly red country is that their babies are born with temporary-but-reappearing Koranic tattoos. They’ve got some crazy stuff going on over there – we’re tellin’ ya.

Imagine our surprise then, when we discovered this third story came out of the country where we thought they only had a two-template newspaper. It happened in 1968.

No doubt you’d like us to cut to the chase. Here it is as All News Web puts it:

“The Soviet Defense Ministry wrote in March 1969, Order No. 481 addressed to the Commander of the Air Defense Forces in the Sverdlosvsk Military Region Lieutenant General A.G. Ponomarenko. He was ordered to assist in every way the local KGB authorities in the operation “Sverdlovsk Midget” (small aliens), signed by the Deputy Commander in Chief of the USSR Air Defense Forces, Colonel General S.D. Lebedey, Seal stated, General Staff of the USSR Defense Ministry.

“In a second letter from November 3, 1969 on the KGB letterhead addressed to Deputy Chief of the Scientific Research Department KGB USSR, Colonel Grigoriev. The letter stated that on March 5, 1969 information was received about discovery of the unidentified object wreckage, 3 meter high and 5 meter in diameter with remains of small unknown human like creature, Operation called “Sverdlovsk Midget”.”

 

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Now when you hear that the Koran has appeared on a baby, you no doubt get a visual of little arms and tiny legs sticking out from underneath a very dusty, thick book. Although that’s almost definitely happened at one time or other – that’s not what we mean here.

No – we mean actual verses from the Koran have appeared scribbled on a baby boy’s skin – repeatedly.

Most of you are probably thinking about how even if verses from the Koran actually are appearing temporarily on an infant boys skin, it’s still not as miraculous as when the image of Virgin Mary forms in a wet spot on the side of a cracker box.

And that may be true. To know for sure we should put both items on eBay. If the crackers out-pace the Koranic baby we’ll know for sure which structure God wants built on that ol’ temple mount.

Until then, let’s look at this Koranic baby a little closer. After all, if it’s true it’s absolutely fascinating. First of all it’s quite ironic that such a religious occurrence would happen in Russia – a place where most people think God should get the exact same paycheck as everybody else.

But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. ABC News will tell you what’s going on:

“Religious leaders in Dagestan [Russia] say the verse “Be thankful or grateful to God” appeared on Ali Yakubov’s right leg in Arabic script earlier this week… By the time foreign journalists had arrived, the verse had faded to a single letter.”

News24 takes it a little farther:

“Pinkish in colour and several centimetres high, the Qu’ranic verse “Be thankful or grateful to Allah” was printed on the infant’s right leg in clearly legible Arabic script this week, religious leaders said. Visiting foreign journalists later saw a single letter after the rest had vanished.

“The fact that this miracle happened here is a signal to us to take the lead and help our brothers and sisters find peace,” said Sagid Murtazaliyev, head of the Kizlyar region about 150km north of Makhachkala, the sprawling Dagestani capital on the Caspian Sea.”

Getting back to the baby, he’d spike a fever before each verse showed up. We’ve not seen what other verses have appeared other than the one listed above, but we kind of assume they were lengthy excerpts from Dianetics. Now that’s a miracle!

The boy’s father, for the record, assures reporters that the firebrand currently warming in the hearth – with what appears to be the steel-forged opening lines to a Huckleberry Finn sequel from beyond the grave – has absolutely nothing to do with the ongoing miracle. The father would also like to know if anybody can think of something good but unexpected Huck could float down a river on.

He’d also like to talk to an American book publisher for no reason in particular.

We recommend HarperCollins.

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Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

As paranormal events go, this one really stands out. It stands out, perhaps, because we’ve never heard of anything quite like it. There are no UFOs to speak of, nobody’s claimed a terrifying ape-man encounter deep in the woods, and as far as we can tell nobody’s gotten ghost-hickeys.

Ask our Aunt Sally about the hickeys.

Today’s topic is a man who has appeared in everybody’s dream.

There appears to be some very strange epidemic wherein one man is being seen in the dreams of people all over the world.

You’re probably wondering exactly how anybody could possibly know that their dream phantom looks exactly like one who haunts the night-fantasies of so many others. The answer is simple – from ThisMan.org:

“In January 2006 in New York, the patient of a well-known psychiatrist draws the face of a man that has been repeatedly appearing in her dreams. In more than one occasion that man has given her advice on her private life. The woman swears she has never met the man in her life.

“That portrait lies forgotten on the psychiatrist’s desk for a few days until one day another patient recognizes that face and says that the man has often visited him in his dreams. He also claims he has never seen that man in his waking life.

“The psychiatrist decides to send the portrait to some of his colleagues that have patients with recurrent dreams. Within a few months, four patients recognize the man as a frequent presence in their own dreams. All the patients refer to him as THIS MAN.”

Not everybody who sees This Man is necessarily getting life changing advice from him. Some people are just flying through the air with him at their side. Some see him escorting them out of a shopping mall with a confusing floor plan, and still others find themselves making sweet, sticky love to him all day long forever and ever.

Or something.

Some say he’s a human being who’s somehow obtained the ability to project himself into people’s dreams anywhere in the world. Some say while doing so he can change his appearance so that he’d never be recognised in the street. Still other’s think it’s God himself gracing the sleep-time of mortals across the globe.

Our theory is that Israel is somehow behind all this, and they’re doing it to eventually get all westerners attracted to sheep.

That’s not really our theory, but those guys sure catch flack, don’t they?

Now you all know that we here at hecklerspray are truly dedicated to getting multiple sources for absolutely every story we ever tell you. This time, however, we’re not going to do that because there are three bats perched in an office corner behind us and the closest broom is two floors down.

We’re a bit panicked, you understand.

As such, we’ll close out today’s story with a bunch of alleged first hand encounter quotes from the same website we just used.

Again, it’s from ThisMan.org:

“I have had this recurrent dream for some years now. A tall, dark man shows me a picture and asks me if I can recognise my father in it. The man in the picture is this man I have never seen before, he looks nothing like my dad, nevertheless I inexplicably answer that I do recognize my father. At this point I usually wake up feeling very peaceful. Other times the dream continues, I am standing before my father’s grave, I place some flowers on the ground and I realise the photograph on the tombstone is missing.”

“I fell in love with him from the very first time I saw him in my dream. Even though if I think about it I must admit he’s really ugly. And yet each and every time, he sweeps me off my feet with his romantic gestures and sweet words. He buys me flowers, jewellery, he takes me out to dinner or to the beach to watch the sunset.”

“I have always had this dream of flying in the sky over my city and observing my friends from up there. Since I moved to another house I started meeting this man while flying. Not every single time that I have this dream about flying, but often enough. He flies too, but he never speaks.”

“The first time I had a dream about this man I was having a hard time at work. I had a dream about getting lost in a huge and deserted shopping mall. Suddenly this man appeared and I started running away from him. He chased after me for what seemed like an hour until I found myself against a wall in the kids’ area in a supermarket. At this point he smiled at me and he showed me the way out towards the cash desks and I woke up. Ever since that night this man has appeared in all of my dreams and he always gives me directions to get out of the dream and wake up.”

“I have never had homosexual relationships or even fantasies. But I dream about having sexing with this man all the time. I must admit he has a lot of imagination and he pleases me. Sometimes when I wake up I discover I have had a nocturnal emission.”

“I saw this man in my dream, dressed as Santa Klaus. When he showed up I felt so happy, just like when I was a little girl. Then he smiled at me and his head became a balloon,floating in the air above me, but no matter how hard I tried to catch it, I just couldn’t reach it.”

Now if you’ll excuse us, we’ve several bats to pin to the ground, trap in a bag and toss out a window.

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Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Every now and again someone, somewhere finds little stone heads for which gigantic, misshapen wolves always come hunting. Well to be sure, we said ‘every now and again’ – but we meant it only happened once that we’ve heard of. And incidentally – those wolves we mentioned, well they don’t just track you as you and your over-sized Spider-Man backpack walk to school – they angrily plod through your house too. Searching all the while.

There are dozens of reasons why you might encounter a werewolf. It could be because you’re relentlessly pursuing his daytime human girlfriend. It could be because you’ve left one too many roses on the grave of his long-dead mother who was totally vivacious back in the day. Lastly, it could be because you’re at a science fair.

We’ve a theory that werewolves really love science fairs.

As it pertains to this story – another way to meet a supernatural spirit-dog beast is to dig up two stone heads in the back yard. Once you’ve done that, the heads’ protector will show up to track them down mercilessly. It’s quite terrifying, actually. Here’s the story as told on MysteriousBritain.com:

“It was 1972, and at the Robson family home in Hexham, only ten minutes walk away from where the legendary Wolf of Allendale had roamed the woods, the two young Robson brothers dug up two small, carved stone heads whilst they were tending the garden. Several nights after the discovery of the stone heads, neighbour Ellen Dodd and her daughter were sitting up late one evening when both of them witnessed a “half-man, half beast” entering the bedroom. The pair screamed in terror but, the creature seemed indifferent to them and simply left the room, heard to be “padding down the stairs as if on its hind legs”. Later on, the front door was found open. It has been thought that the creature had been in search of something, and had left the house to continue searching elsewhere”

But what could be so important that a freaky demon gets sent up from the depths of hell to collect? The website Profiling the Unexplained gives a great description of the two heads:

“The stones, which were called the Hexham-heads, represent two different types. The first was similar to a skull and seemed to bear male traits; it was called “boy”. The stone was of a greenish grey and glittered with quartz crystals. It was very heavy, heavier than cement or concrete. The hair seemed to run in stripes from front to back. The other head, the “girl” was similar to a witch. It had wild pop-eyes and the hair was tied back to some knot. In the hair, traces of yellow and red colour could be found.

“After they have dug up the heads, the boys took them into the house. Thereby, the whole disaster commenced. The heads turned round without reason, objects broke to pieces without evident cause. When the mattress of one of the two daughters of the Robsons was dotted with broken glass, the girls moved out of the room. In the meantime, a mysterious flower bloomed at Christmas exactly on that spot, where the heads were found. Besides, a strange light was glowing there.”

And there’s the wolf – we already told you about that a bit. Well just after that the heads were given to Dr Anne Ross, who was a Celtic expert of one type or another. She said the heads were around 2000 years old. Almost as soon as the heads arrived – Ross got a visit from the wolf too. Here’s her account according to a site called GoArticles.com:

“In her own account Anne Ross described how, one night shortly after their arrival, she woke up suddenly at 2 a.m. feeling chilled and extremely frightened. At the instant of awakening she saw a tall, jet black wolf-headed figure standing against the faint white of the open door. It then moved out into the corridor and she felt an irresistible urge to follow it. This she did, seeing and hearing the figure clearly as it made its way down the darkened staircase and along the corridor towards the kitchen. Anne Ross described the figure vividly, reporting not only its blackness and tallness but also its distinct part animal, part human appearance. As the creature neared the kitchen the spell broke and Anne Ross felt fear overwhelm her and so she rushed upstairs to awaken her husband. Together they searched the house for intruders but found no-one and nothing disturbed by any forced entry and eventually concluded that she must have suffered a particularly vivid nightmare…

“[Later, as Ross' daughter] recounted, she had returned to the empty house at 4 p.m. and opened the front door with her key. As it swung open she saw something large, dark and inhuman rushing down the stairs (which faced the doorway) toward her. Half way down it had suddenly stopped and vaulted over the banisters, landing with a soft thud like a heavy animal with thickly padded feet…”

So do you believe it? You thinking about throwing out all your Hummel figurines just in case? Well before you rush to judgement and toss your fine collection that might rival that of elderly women everywhere – you should know there are sceptics. No – really there are.  For instance – one man claimed he carved the two heads with his own hands. As proof of this he carved duplicates.

Did he really make the heads? Maybe. But the werewolf makes for a far better story.

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Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Ghosts are passe and Sasquatch seems about as scary as a bucket full of lollipops. Whatever is the former world of terror/monsters to do? Why, they need to invent some sort of a new creature to fear – and by new creature, we mean of course, children. Not just any children though – needy ones with black eyes.

Black eyed children, it seems, are a fairly new epidemic.

Of all the paranormal oddities you could encounter, few would truly terrify. If you encountered a UFO, you’d likely be nothing but awe-struck unless it seemed to be positioning itself to suck you up. If you ran into a Sasquatch you’d be too busy counting imaginary money as you aimed your mobile phone at it, and shadow people – well sure, shadow people would make you poop your pants until they slide down to your ankles.

Other than that though, nothing would really seem that bad, right? Except Black Eyed Kids. BEKs, as they are frequently quick-referenced, have a tendency to strike fear to your very core as they stand there politely asking to use your phone, bathroom or vehicle.

On the surface they seems like nice teenagers and you can’t think of one reason not to help them, but inside your skin every part of you is screaming to slam the door and hide forever. Have you heard of these kids before? It wouldn’t be too surprising if you hadn’t – they’ve only been around 10 – 15 years or so. Here’s a bit on them from Paranormal.About.com:

“The first well documented and discussed account came from a journalist named Brian Bethel in 1998. In his story, two children (not quite teens, but close) approached him as he sat in his car while parked in a parking lot. At first glance, the kids looked normal, wearing clothes that were in style and had a pale, olive colored skin. In acknowledging the two boys, Bethel was overcome with a peculiar fear that he describes in his account as: “I could feel fight-or-flight responses kicking in. Something, I knew instinctually, was not right, but I didn’t know what it could possibly be.”

“Claiming that they were on their way to see a movie but had left their money at home, the two boys asked Bethel for a ride back to their house. When Bethel did not allow them into his car, the kids seemed to get annoyed and kept asking for a ride. As Bethel’s fear and panic increased, he actually found himself wanting to open the door. However, when Bethel noticed their eyes, a primal fear took over and momentarily paralyzed him; the kids had coal black eyes, completely lacking pupils and irises.”

If you’re wondering how that encounter ended – the man sped off with an empty back seat. Most encounters with the BEKs are on your very own front porch. They’ll ring your bell and then give you a fairly inconspicuous story about how they need your phone, or that their black eyes are soon to turn yellow if you don’t please let them in for a heavy pee.

But the terror always takes over though – nobody ever lets them in because of it. And it’s a good thing too, as there’s some speculation that BEKs need permission to enter your abode before they can eat your freshly salted, semi-marinated face off.

For the record we really don’t know what the kids would do upon entrance because nobody’s ever fallen for their tricks. Well almost nobody. One man commenting in a chatroom claims he did. He also claims that what happened next seemed straight out of a horror film. It’s overly long and spellcheck-free -but a worthwhile read.

As found oon Haunted Diary.com:

I have read many accounts of these black eyed kids but i dont think any really come close to what happened to me when i let two into my house. Some people think that if you let them in that the will kill you, obiviously i can say this is not true.

this is what happened, i was sitting in my bedroom at home when i heared a knock on the door, it was not too late so i didnt hesitate opening the door to whoever it was. when i opened it there was two children standing there, both were looking at the floor. “yes ” i said, the taller one asked if they could come in as they were lost and the other boy needed the toilet. I live in an area where it is very easy to get lost, so i just ashumed that they were telling the truth and was looking down because they were shy, even though the one talking, spoke very confidently. so i let them in, the one who needed the tolitet just walked in and straight up the stairs so i shouted up its on the right, i dont know why i didnt find this strange but most toilets are upstairs and as he was young i didnt think anything of it.

i told the other one that the phone was down the hall, “thanks” he said and he started to walk down the hall, i followed him and then i suddenly came over with a really awfull feeling like something bad was going to happen, i became very nervious and a bit shakey i still cant explain how that happened, the boy stopped at the phone and paused, “everythink ok?” i asked, he turned to me and looked up and thats when i saw his eyes, and trust me i will never get that picture out of my head, i was so scared that i couldnt even scream as i turned to run down the hall the other kid was standing at the end.

i became very dizzy and stuggled to stand up, he walk closer to me and said that they had been sent to collect me, i still couldnt bear to look into his face, i pushed away from him and ran into my frontroom and slammed the door shut, i was in so much shock about what was happening i couldnt think straight, this is something that you dont even expect to happen even in movies. after standing against the door for around and hour or so i finaling got the courage to make a run for the back door, so i ran to it and unlocked it, i ran to the back of my garden and jumped over the fence not once looking back.

my friend lived close so i ran to his house, i told him the story and as i guessed he was a bit sceptic about what i had said. i convinced him to come back with me, when we got there we looked around the whole house but couldnt find them. ever since this happened i always have a dream that this kids with the black eyes stand over my bed with there hands streching to me, i hope to god that i never see these again.

Sent to collect him. Well who knows what that really means, but we assume the boys were collectors for an intergalactic zoo. That wouldn’t be a bad life though, would it? You’d eat free, people would probably bathe you with a long brush, and every time you had a kid the local news station would hold a fun contest where the winner gets to name it.

Really that kind of sounds nice, doesn’t it?

Of course it does.

If the kind of collecting they do includes a human-sized lamination machine to prevent you from bending at the corners, well – that just sounds terrible.

Let’s all continue to not let them in, shall we?

It’s agreed then.

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Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artefacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

The problems with monsters, ghosts and aliens is that, sure – people see them – but there usually are no pictures to prove it. Sometimes a few frames get snapped off – but the blurry image in the distant background is rarely convincing of anything.

Imagine then, how shocked modern scientists must be as they examine an actual ‘baby alien’ body that was drowned by a scared Mexican farmer in 2007.

Here’s what we know about extra-terrestrial contact so far: Lots of people claim to be abducted by them, they like to embed tiny devices under our skin, and if rowdy children playing soccer wander to close to them, they’ll reach out and touch them.

That is literally all we know though. It’s been like 50 years since Roswell, and still the alien mystery lingers strong. Sometime in the nineties a video was released showing what was supposed to be the dissection of an alien body by scientists. It was called “Alien Autopsy,’ and it blew minds until somebody realised a coiled phone cord in the background hadn’t been invented at the time the film was supposed to take place.

And with that mankind glumly accepted the fact that if aliens actually were visiting our sweet, blue planet, they were probably too smart to get into flying traffic accidents, or to let any co-workers get their skin peeled back by a species that used to sit around all day eating dead skin and bananas.

“Mexican TV revealed the almost unbelievable story – in 2007, a baby ‘alien’ was found alive by a farmer in Mexico. He drowned it in a ditch out of fear, and now two years later scientists have finally been able to announce the results of their tests on this sinister-looking carcass. At the end of last year the farmer, Marao Lopez, handed the corpse over to university scientists who carried out DNA tests and scans. He claimed that it took him three attempts to drown the creature and he had to hold it underwater for hours. Tests revealed a creature that is unknown to scientists – its skeleton has characteristics of a lizard, its teeth do not have any roots like humans and it can stay underwater for a long time.”

“According to the scientists’ report, the alien baby can stay underwater for a long time, has the skeleton of a lizard, and has rootless teeth which are totally unlike humans’ teeth. However, it does have some similar joints to human. The brain of the alien baby is huge, particularly the rear section, which makes the scientists believe that the creature had very high intelligence.”

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Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Poor Jack – stuck in those irons. Irons, of course, meaning chains in this case. And why, you may ask, is he stuck in chains? Well some would argue it’s because at some point in his life he’d been incarcerated.

Did we mention that he’s now a giant that haunts old, lonely English roads? Or that his chains are adorned with severed human heads?

Without a doubt, one of our favourite stories that we ever brought you was that of Spring-Heeled Jack. He used to hop around England scratching pretty young girls and then disappearing into the night. That’s creepy, right? Well if you don’t think so it’s only because you just read our synopsis up there.

Ol’ jumping Jack isn’t the only thing to have haunted England – the similarly named Jack-in-Irons also spends ample time patrolling the English countryside – more specifically, Yorkshire. Here’s your first briefing – it’s from Paralumun.com:

Jack In Irons Ghost is a famous English ghost that haunts the backroads of Yorkshire. He is a tall, evil looking figure that is covered in chains. He usually wears black robes. He usually haunts people by jumping out late at night and terrifying people who are alone at night. The chains that cover Jack are probably indicative of the fact that Jack died in a prison during the times when prisoners were also chained. Although he scares people, he does no further harm and just simply disappears.

That sounds like a practically cuddly spectre, doesn’t it? Well maybe that’s because they forgot to mention that Jack is also draped in the severed heads of his victims. That’s right, you read that right. To anchor this fact we’ll give you another quote – it’s out of the Encyclopedia Mythica Dictionary:

“[Jack-in-Irons is] a very dangerous giant who haunts the deserted roads in Yorkshire. He is covered with chains and the heads of his victims. His weapon is a large club with spikes.”

It’s worse than you thought, isn’t it? If you’re terrified already, then we are really sorry to tell you we think that despite what our first quotation said, it looks like Jack-in-Irons kills absolutely everybody he’s ever come across. This is our assumption as we can’t find a single witness account. Bigfoot has witnesses, Spring Heeled Jack had witnesses – but this guy? Nothing.

We assume he adds the head of everybody who sees him to his ornamentation. What we’d really like to know is this – does he wear the heads forever or do they have a sort of expiration date? Because if he leaves them hanging from him eternally, after 30 killings or so you’d think his movement would be very restricted. Kind of like the little brother in the snowsuit on A Christmas Story.

We’re gonna bet that the heads eventually rot and then naturally fall off.

It’s the most logical explanation.

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Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

If you’re dear old Auntie Mable happened to pass away without telling you where exactly she’d hidden her well-preserved 1979 Microsoft stock certificates, you might think you’d need to pay an expensive psychic to ask her where they are.

Not so – now you can do it in your own home – for the low, low cost of a mirror!

People have been willing to take your hard earned money on the premise that they’ll put you in direct communication with your dead grandma for centuries – millenia even. Generally this has included you sitting in a dark room, grabbing a greasy gypsy hand from across the table and listening to her tell you that said grandma never liked you, and you’re a perpetual disappointment.

When that happened to us, we told the psychic to relay a message of ‘Oh yeah? Well if it’s disappointment she wants let’s talk about her stupid banana bread!’ Of course, we regretted this immediately.

Later, as we walked home thinking about how our bank account was several hundred dollars lower, it dawned on us that in life it had always been our grandfather who didn’t like us – not Nanners. Hence – the psychic was a fraud and how could we have ever really known.

Lucky for you you’ll never have to be confused – because now you can be your own psychic. Well not a psychic, per se, but you can build something that will help you bridge the death-gap. And this device – it’s not built from wires and circuit boards like the Spiricom or Frank’s Box (remember them?). No – this is the psychomantium – and according to Blinston.com, this is what it’s made of:

“The [psychomantium] is a very dark, dimly lit chamber varying in size. At one end of the chamber is a chair and at the other end a mirror. The mirror is tilted at an angle so the sitter is prevented from seeing his or her own reflection. The special mirror is the true portal.”

‘But a portal to what,’ you surely must be asking yourself. ‘Why, to the afterworld,’ we bluntly answer. On a semi-recent episode of Coast to Coast we heard a psychomantium specialist recount a story of someone sitting in a room in a blind study – they didn’t know the purpose of the mirrored room. After some amount of time had passed, the person’s dead grandmother is said to have stepped through the mirror for a chance to say a quick goodbye.

Encyclopedia.com gives a broad overview of the device:

“Recent attempts to facilitate reunions with deceased loved ones using a psychomanteum chamber have found that many participants report reunion experiences ranging from a sense of presence to vivid and realistic visual encounters. Many participants consider these to be actual encounters with the deceased and find them to be very beneficial. Such experiences can also be accompanied by apparent mental or verbal communications; tactile and bodily sensations; sensations of movement; and, occasionally, smells.”

Like we said – that’s pretty broad. As far as individual experiences – Psychomantium.org has a bunch of participant quotes. Don’t get so excited – none of them seem to include visual ghosts stepping out of mirrors. Still, some of the experiences are pretty creepy – like this one:

“Male, age 44

“”I had a visual when it was dark in the room like going through a tunnel. Light would come toward me. I would pass through and move on.” “I would talk to Grandpa and invite him to use my voice to reply. During the reply my voice and sensations in my throat would change. He was not a talkative person when I knew him in this life, and was not real talkative today either. But he, in response to my questions, assured me that he was ok, that it was different than he had expected, that I was to follow my path even though he didn’t understand some of it, that I should keep in contact with grandma and others.”"

Here’s another one. This one doesn’t have an apparition either, but does have a voice:

“Male, age 54

“”Near the end of the session my mother answered my invitation to speak a few minutes with me by saying, “I’m not ready to see you here. I’m too busy now.” Earlier, I briefly saw amorphous clouds and twinkling stars.”"

Most of the other experiences we read had to do with people seeing swirling colors while they sat in the darkness, or the participants sensing something or other. No ghosts.

We’ll take Frank’s Box, thank you very much.

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Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Israel’s got a lot on its plate right now – what with all this talk of nuking Iran, nuking Syria, nuking Lebanon and the constant need to police the wailing wall for people who are clapping too vigorously. Seriously – it all adds up. The last thing they need right now is multiple eye-witnesses claiming an actual mermaid is haunting their shores.

But that’s what they got anyway.

Israel’s got a mermaid. With that knowledge you may conjure up mental images of Ariel sitting on an above-surface ocean rock playing a pan flute while you bravely stab an octopus lady with an old sunken ship. Don’t – because this mermaid is totally gross. With that knowledge you may conjure up an image of how ‘totally gross’ could still be better than your wife, and decide you’d stab the octo-witch anyway.

Well that’s up to you.

For the record though, we really don’t know what the mermaid looks like. Eye-witnesses do – and here’s what they’ve said. According to Natti Zilberman, a local town council spokesperson:

“The nautical nymph is only seen in the evening at sunset, according to media reports, drawing crowds of people with cameras hoping for a glimpse. People say it is half girl, half fish, jumping like a dolphin. It does all kinds of tricks then disappears… They say it is a female figure, it looks like a young girl.”

Are you convinced yet? Do you accept that the mermaid exists? Well then maybe you need another eye-witness quote. This one’s from a guy named Shlomo Cohen:

“I was with friends when suddenly we saw a woman laying on the sand in a weird way. At first I thought she was just another sunbather, but when we approached she jumped into the water and disappeared. We were all in shock because we saw she had a tail.”

The local government there is taking the whole fish-girl business so seriously – enough to offer a million dollar reward to anybody who can bring in all the severed fins from off this thing. There’s a standing order to re-release the gilled-creature back into the ocean after fin removal as not to upset PETA.

Our sources have just told us the reward is for photos, not the actual fins. That’s dumb – duh, Photoshop, Israel, Photoshop!

We think the witnesses are definitely seeing something, and although we’re not quite liberal enough to believe a mermaid actually exists, we’re not ruling out a dolphin biologically cursed with beautiful human boobies. And unless you can concretely prove our plausible theory wrong, we’re really not interested in hearing from you.

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Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

When a tin foil spaceship crashed all over Roswell, New Mexico, the residents there must have been overcome with anticipation of the tourist dollars that would soon stuff their wallets. As Roswell sat back and watched the green fly in (pun intended), Aurora, Texas must have felt slighted.

After all, they had a spaceship crash like 50 years previously – and theirs included a now-buried little green body.

Aurora, Texas was a quiet little town that once had something they termed ‘an airship’ smash into a windmill then explode all to pieces. The sight of an airship was by no means new – after all, a rash of the things had been reported all over the country. Texasescapes.com finds the words to describe things:

“The Aurora crash was, in fact, the culminating event in a rash of “airship” sightings in East and Northeast Texas, Oklahoma, North and Central Louisiana in the period between 1895 and 1898. Robert Atkinson, of Center, Texas, a veteran of the Spanish American War, often told of seeing, as a teenager, strange, “flashing lights” in the sky, as did Polk Burns of the same city. Similar incidents were recountered by Bud Knight, a prominent resident of San Augustine, Texas, who died in 1981 at the age of 108. Lee Choron, who died in 1976 at the age of 94 recalled seeing “moving lights flashing in the sky” while living in Swift, Texas… while in his “teens”.”

Keep in mind these sightings were happening in 1897 or before. The Wright brothers first flew on December 17th 1903 – not that airplanes were the first human-made vehicles to cross the sky. Hot air balloons and dirigibles had been around for who-knows how long. Let’s not forget though, that the above witness account claimed flashing lights – not flickering candles. Electricity, is of course, implied here. Although Ben Franklin’s key had been first lit up by it several decades earlier, surely a balloon from that time couldn’t be suited up with light bulb wiring.

Now on to more interesting fare, the Aurora crash was reported in newspapers, diaries and letters to friends. One such newspaper article still exists. It’s from the Dallas Morning News:

“About 6 o’clock this morning the early risers of Aurora were astonished at the sudden appearance of the airship which has been sailing around the country. It was traveling due north and much nearer the earth than before.

“Evidently some of the machinery was out of order, for it was making a speed of only ten or twelve miles an hour, and gradually settling toward the earth. It sailed over the public square and when it reached the north part of town it collided with the tower of Judge Proctor’s windmill and went into pieces with a terrific explosion, scattering debris over several acres of ground, wrecking the windmill and water tank and destroying the judge’s flower garden.

“The pilot of the ship is supposed to have been the only one aboard and, while his remains were badly disfigured, enough of the original has been picked up to show that he was not an inhabitant of this world.”

Did you read that? The newspaper article said there was a body. What’s more – they buried it in the local cemetery. No really – we wouldn’t lie to you. Here’s a splurb from the historical marker screwed to the cemetery’s gate, or whatever:

“…This site is also well-known because of the legend that a spaceship crashed nearby in 1897 and the pilot, killed in the crash, was buried here…”

With a known location for an alien body one would suppose that concrete proof of alien visitation was just a couple shovelfuls away. We would that it was that simple. There was a tombstone at one point, allegedly – acting like the X on a pirate’s map. According to CBS11tv.com:

“There was a tombstone, with a marking that appeared to be half of a saucer, or the cigar-shaped object. Researchers ran metal detectors over the site where the ship was said to crash. Some say the grass hasn’t grown there since. In a nearby shed, there’s a well where wreckage, small bits of metal, was reportedly thrown. But in 1973, the tombstone and the metal in the ground disappeared.”

Still, it shouldn’t be that tough to find, right? A couple strong backs could probably have the whole place dug up within a few weeks.

If the locals would let them. You see, they’re conveniently tired of all the attention, and refuse to let anyone dig. And as for the owners of the well with all the debris down in it – well they cemented it over. Things really aren’t looking good here, are they?

So unfortunately, the mystery of the Aurora spaceship crash will remain just that – a mystery.

PS. Check out this detailed original newspaper article regarding the crash. We think you’ll quite enjoy it if you’ve got good vision.

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Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

As the story goes, Mr & Mrs Thomas Otto were cruel to their servants. As an act of quiet revenge, one of these servants made a voodoo-cursed doll and gave it to their son Robert Eugene. The doll was made in the boy’s likeness – and was even given his name – Robert.

According to stories, perhaps the name Chucky would have been a better fit.

As we said, a voodoo loving witch-like servant crafted a doll for her boss’ son. The doll came complete with a sailor suit, a full head of hair, a stuffed lion attached to his hand, and an evil curse that gives it life. Well that’s how the story goes any way. Upon receiving the gift, Robert Eugene (Eugene) made a habit of talking to it for hours on end – and then he would answer himself in a different voice. His folks heard this from another room.

After that, things worsened. According to ScaryForKids.com:

“Gene began to have nightmares and scream out in the night, when his parents would enter the room, they would find furniture over turned, their child in a fright, and Robert at the foot of the bed, with his glaring gaze! “Robert Did It”…. The doll was eventually put up into the attic. Where he resided for many years.”

Robert was eventually moved to the attic by unsettled parents. He was kept in a small room with doll furniture specially made for him. Here he had an encounter with a plumber who, after returning multiple times from his truck with supplies, noticed the doll was in a slightly different place each time. When leaving the attic for good, he heard giggling behind him. He turned around to see the doll on the opposite side of the attic from where it had just been. According to one account, the plumber left the house screaming.

Years later Thomas Otto died, leaving the home to his now established artist- son Eugene. Gene set up an artist’s studio in the turret room. When he rediscovered Robert in the attic, he moved him down to his new studio. THis is where passing children said the could see the doll moving from window to window wantching them – even when nobody was home.

Gene’s behavior soon became irrational, claiming that Robert ‘wanted’ things. According to Squidoo.com:

“Gene, himself reported when visiting the turret room on occasion he would find Robert in the rocking chair by the window rocking, and complaining of his displeasure with his accommodations…”

Robert was moved back to the attic, from where guests often heard foot steps pacing to and fro – or tap dancing. We’re serious about the tap dancing. After Gene’s death the house was sold. The new owners had a ten year old daughter. According to HauntedAmericaTours.com, this is what happened next:

“Eventually, a new family purchased the old house and Robert the Doll was discovered in his attic home and was promptly presented to the family’s youngest daughter, then aged 10, as a housewarming gift. From the moment she received the doll the child was plagued by horrible nightmares. More than once, she claims, she awoke to find the doll sitting on her face, attempting, she believed, to suffocate her. It seemed that Robert intensely disliked being left behind by Gene and had no love for his new “owner.” It was also painfully obvious that he did not like little girls because he is blamed for having torn up and mutilated most of the young girl’s other dolls. When the family pet became mysteriously entwined in the cord of the nursery Venetian blinds, Robert was once again consigned to the attic.”

Are having a hard time swallowing this story? Well for good reason – but you can see Robert for yourself if you’re curious. He’s in The East Martello Museum now. People say that you can see the doll’s facial expression change before your eyes. They also say that if you take a picture without the doll’s head-leaning permission, you’ll be cursed for the rest of your life. Until you’ve saved up enough for an admission ticket, though, this video will have to do:

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Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

When we think of hauntings there are two images that usually come to mind. The first is of a semi-transparent Bill Cosby from Ghost Dad trying to convince you yet again that Pudding Pops are delicious. Terrifying, right?

The second, from now on, is of a spectre picking up a 13-year-old boy and dragging him physically through his house – like what happened in this case…

Hecklerspray thought it saw a ghost once. It ended up though it was just a very dense toot our college roommate let slide after eating his weight in Taco Bell. Still, it was both ominous and frightening – especially when the cloud seemed to point at us after we mentioned Christmas in a negative light.

It’s nothing compared to what happened to this kid though – that’s because his encounter included getting dragged across the floor by something he couldn’t see, feel or, and we’re only assuming here, taste. Here’s a snippet as found on the Daily Mail:

“The 13-year-old was alone in their home in Hartlepool, when he claims he was suddenly pulled upright, dragged across the living room, and thrown out into the street. The incident, which happened on Monday, lasted five minutes before the startled teenager fled to a neighbour’s house.”

Well that sounds pretty scary – its not where it ends though. Here’s an elaborating quote from the boys mother Beverley Wilkins:

“Daniel told me he had been sitting on the sofa listening to music when he felt someone grab him and pick him up. His feet came off the floor and then someone started pushing him towards the living room door. Whatever it was then tried to push him into the kitchen. He said that the front door then flew open and he was grabbed by the arms again and pushed into the street. He did not see anyone throughout the whole thing but said it sounded like a man because of the heavy breathing.”

When the family regrouped they went back in to see if the coast was clear – it wasn’t. They heard a bunch of banging and foot steps coming from upstairs so they turned tail and ran. That night, with grandmotherly reinforcements, they went back in. Everybody stayed in the same room – three kids, a mother and a grandmother. The only oddity mentioned is that the smoke alarm mysteriously bleeped at some point.

Call us crazy, but a bleeping smoke alarm would have been enough reason for us to vacate again. Albeit more for us trying to avoid ever being labeled as ‘crispy’ than for fear of the transparent dead.

Ghost stories aren’t really rare at all. After all – Michael Jackson’s already got some of his own. What is a little more rare are these stories of ghosts physically attacking people. And what’s with the heavy breathing? Do ghost breathe? Maybe it wasn’t a ghost – maybe it was more something like this. Or a tankless version of this.

We’ll only really know for sure once Hollywood buys this kid’s ‘based on a true story’ movie rights and eventually CGI a ghost snake floating out of his mouth.

Hollywood, please get your best people on this.

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Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

Some people think that when aliens come it’ll be in a space ship with fingers hovering over buttons that read ‘Zap-O-Tron 5000.’ We think it’ll be far more simple. We think they’ll get here when Rosie O’Donnell finally pops.

Something must have laid eggs in there, right?

Well in North Carolina they’ve recently caught something on camera – something simple yet disgusting. Word has it that it’s of alien origin.

Recent discoveries in North Carolina have got Hecklerspray seriously questioning the work ethic of alien species. After all, if recent reports are true it seems they’ve arrived on our planet without even enslaving anything. That’s just lazy.

If you haven’t heard, they’ve arrived alright – and they’ve recently been video recorded in a North Carolina sewer. If you’re thinking they’re down there cooking up plans for global domination, you’re wrong. They don’t even have any laser guns. They don’t have Speak-N’-Spells, they don’t have Vulcan sidekicks, and darn it all, they don’t even have any green dancing girls ready to feed to a Rancor when they fall out of step.

All these aliens do all day is cling to the wall. It’s disappointing, really. Not totally disappointing, mind you. When the creatures sense the light on them (apparently) they tense up – and that is almost vomit inducing. Hollywood has conditioned us to expect something sharp-toothed and slimy to jump out at the camera. It doesn’t, but it’s still pretty nerve-wracking.

Are you tired of reading about it? Well, click play already. And pay close attention to the weird little stick that pops out the top left-ish of the third blob. What is that thing?

Some say there’s an explanation for it, and by some we mean the Daily Mail:

“…biologists had confirmed that the ‘creature’ was actually a colony of worms. The colonies attach themselves to roots that gradually work themselves into weak points in the pipes. ‘They seem to respond to the light from the camera,’ he said. ‘That light is pretty hot.’ He said the phenomena had been seen before, but it was very rare. While Mr Buchan could not say what species of worms they are, other experts claim they are clumps of annelid worms, which normally live in soil and sediment at the bottom and edges of polluted streams. The video shows that the worms have entered a pipeline somewhere and in the absence of soil they are coiling around each other.”

It sounds like it may not be alien, then, but we should probably take it to our leaders just in case.

If you listen close, you can probably hear Obama yelling ‘not it’ in the distance.

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