“South London, Friday night, 1990. Louis Theroux, Adam Buxton & Joe Cornish do some authentic hip-hop style dancing to Dee Lite’s classic Groove Is In The Heart”

Read that again.

If that doesn’t make you giddy, then you’re dead to us. Or, you have different tastes and that’s fine. Whatever. Either way, what you should already be doing is clicking the read more button because there is a video waiting for you that is going to slap a gigantic smile right across your stupid face.

Before you start watching the video (you’re already watching it aren’t you? You’re ignoring these words. We don’t blame you. We do wonder why we bother though) we have one thing to ask.

Who is the best dancer the world has ever seen – Adam Buxton or Bob Mortimer?

We’d really like someone to organise a dance-off between those two. Do it for charity if needed. Do it for the sanity of the entire world.

Anyway, here’s the video that will brighten your worthless day.

[VIA THERMOSO]

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Britain’s had a rum old time when it comes to fictional alien invasions. They started early, with steampunk martians getting all up in our Victorian grills before idiotically sneezing themselves to their constituent pieces in War Of The Worlds.

We had a bit of respite in the ’50s as the fashion in the alien travel supplements was to take in the fabulous corn-filled vistas of mid-west America, do some light abducting, maybe probe a farmhand anus or two.

But then that Doctor fellow with the ever-changing, always-irritating face and voice and body and talking popped onto Saturday teatimes and suddenly Britain can’t move for psychopathic pepper grinders and shaggable supermodel siren doctorbots.

But what if the space-nasties happened upon the gritty urban underbelly of South London? When the monsters attack, who would you really want on humanity’s side; a clay-faced bowtied fop, stuffing 100 words into the time taken by 10, flailing his arms and legs around like a Thom Yorke marionette, or a gang of estate yoofs patrolling their block, never further than a text away from being seriously tooled up?

The answer, as explored in “Adam and” Joe Cornish’s enjoyable debut film Attack The Block, is most definitely and utterly the second one. Even if, in the case of nurse Sam, played with admirable swearing bile by Jodie Whittaker, the alien invasion interrupted them giving you a good solid urban mugging.

The potential saviours of the block are a gang of masked reprobates, led by blank-faced anti-hero Moses (John Boyega). It was a risky move by Cornish to introduce his main characters by having them robbing a lone woman, five against one, then spend the rest of the film expressing scant remorse, stealing police vans and pounding every alien intruder in sight. But then Attack The Block isn’t a gritty social commentary; in fact, the attempts to engineer empathy with the gang give the film its few bum notes. They’re little shits you’d tremble to be stuck on a night bus with, but in the end, if it’s them or the loping mess of hairy limbs and florescent teeth falling out of the sky and ripping people’s throats out, you’re going to side with the awful youth.

Where the film really excels is as a satisfying slice of horror adventure. The aliens themselves are subtly realised, menacing without being CGIsores, and Cornish proves his directing chops with some really suspenseful moments – ever thought about using smoke-creating fireworks as a weapon in a gloomy tower block corridor? After watching this, you’ll think twice now, you lunatic.

And there are a couple of laughs as well; the kids, all fantastically portrayed by unknowns, raise a few smiles with their mocking of each other’s gangster stylings and their processing of the alien threat through popular culture (“They’re like Gangs Of War shit!” “It’s raining Gollums!”) Luke Treadaway’s deck-shoed posh-boy stoner gets caught up in the block’s defence, and his attempts to get down with the kids will bring a familiar shameful shudder to anyone who’s ever tried to casually drop an “innit” in a conversation with incredulous 16-year-old.

And Nick Frost turns up briefly and does his amiable Nick Frost schtick as the block’s resident weed supplier. But despite his presence, and Edgar Wright being an executive producer, those expecting the next Shaun Of The Dead will be disappointed – this is not a chock full of belly-laughs film, it’s a running around with a baseball bat being chased by a load of screaming “bear wolf motherfuckers” film. And that’s no bad thing.

So a solidly entertaining first effort from Joe Cornish, even if it’s not what the most ardent Adam and Joe nutjobs will be expecting (though let’s face it, they wouldn’t be happy unless it was a full-length shot-for-shot stuffed-toy remake of The Phantom Menace). Maybe with a little less trying to make us cry rivers of tears for the poor deprived kids, and a little more letting them just be gits who saved the world, it could’ve been almost perfect. But still, an alien incursion with not a bastard bowtie or twattish tweed jacket in sight. Let’s just be thankful for that.

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Harry Potter has a lot to answer for – now he’s magically caused Quantum of Solace to be pushed back.

Not content with ruining the dreams and emotions of a billion little kids and a lot of adults who probably should know better, Daniel Radcliffe and company’s decision to move the new Harry Potter film to next summer has prompted Sony to push the upcoming James Bond flick – the one with the funny name – back.

Alright, so it’s only a week, with the film being pushed from November 7th to the 14th, but still – come on. Give us a break here.

The reason for the move was given as a simple one: ‘we want more money’. Technically not what they actually said, but ‘moving it closer to the Thanksgiving/Christmas market’ is pretty transparent when it comes to reasoning.

While we do wish we could live in a world where money wasn’t such a driving factor, where advertising wasn’t so rampantly killing off the reputations of entertainers and where focus groups didn’t decide what we could watch and when… well, we don’t. Which means you have to wait an extra week to see Quantum of Solace in the US.

We don’t, mind, as we’re in Britain. We still get the thing on October 31st, which makes us a great deal better than you, our wonderful trans-Atlantic chums. In your face! It also shows that the film isn’t being pushed back because of any kind of curse that may be going around, which is nice.

Speaking to Variety, the Sony chairman of something and something else blah distribution world said:

“We believe Nov. 14 is a great date that allows us to play straight through Thanksgiving and right into Christmas. We believe this decision will give the public a wider opportunity to see the film over the holiday.”

Like we said – it’s pretty transparent in the reasoning, but they still try and hide the fact that the decision was made for more delicious, life-giving money. Instead, it’s put as being for your benefit. Bless them – they really do care about you*.

Nevertheless, the wait for Jimmy Bond’s latest outing is sure to be worth it, with the trailer making it out to be one long fight. We’re not complaining – two hours of brawling is something hecklerspray would pay good money to see, along with paying $250 for other activities.

To make the wait that little bit easier, check out the official song to Quantum of Solace – far better than this poorly-thought-out effort by two relative unknowns – as provided by the world-renowned composer Joe Cornish**:

It certainly works better than the original teaser.

*They don’t care about you.

** This is all a lie. It is not the official song. He is a British comedian.