Steve Jones is so potent that he could get a homophobe’s trousers aroused. He could probably get a kitchen table pregnant. God. He’s just so sexual.
He’s so sexy that TV productions companies know it and that, because he’s got a relatively self-effacing sense of humour, you can say that people are having sex with him and he won’t mind.
And so, now that Nicole Scherzinger isn’t going out with Lewis Hamilton anymore (mainly because he’s about as thrilling as a wart being frozen off), the X Factor USA team have decided to press her groin against his and shout “YOU’RE TOTALLY GOING OUT NOW! WE ALL SAW YOU COPPING OFF WITH EACH OTHER!” Kim Kardashian is on hand to offer advice about shortlived, lucrative wedding deals no doubt.
Oh. Before we go on, we forgot to do the pun which we’re now obliged by law to write: X Factor? SEX FACTOR MORE LIKE!
Anyway, some source at Fox tells Heat that the judge and the host were actually told to get close earlier this summer, for the good of televisual chemistry.
The insider says:
“X Factor executives encouraged Nicole and Steve to build their chemistry, and get to know each other better over drinks”
“But since then, things have moved on.?
SEX FACTOR MORE LI… oh sorry, we’ve done that one.
And why haven’t they gone public?
The mole says:
?They can't go public until they get the okay from Simon.”
You may laugh, but soon, we’ll all have to run our relationships by Simon Cowell… and Christ knows how difficult it is to get good praise from him without some terrible sob-story.
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