If you're reading this on December 27, it's probably because you've already steamed through all the presents you were given for Christmas, eaten all the sweets you were given for Christmas and realised that you hate all your family.
And who's to blame you for coming to hecklerspray for comfort? We're always here for you no matter what, with the fat milky teat of celebrity news for you to suckle upon. Except for right now. We're taking this week off – and today we're go-karting in Dubai with Uri Gellar – and to make up for our absence we're giving you Spray Picks 06, a daily rundown of shit that we thought was cool this year. Why? Because we're lazy and our opinion matters.
Today – hecklerspray's favourite movies of 2006, after the jump…
Stuart Heritage
Mission: Impossible III
It hasn't really been a year for mediocre films, has it? At one end of the spectrum was The Break-Up – a film so completely pointless that I actually started groaning in pain every time new scene started after about an hour, just because it meant the fucker hadn't finished yet. On the other hand, Children Of Men knocked my socks off and almost got my vote here, if it wasn't for – and God help me for admitting this – Mission: Impossible III. Now, as much as I dislike Tom Cruise as a man – and I really do, honestly – Mission: Impossible III was just so well put together that it was difficult not to be swept up by its great big stupid ride. Maybe it's because I really wasn't expecting much from it, maybe because the film seemed to realise that it was a just a stupid action film – albeit a staggering proficient one – and treated itself as just that, maybe because the Lost guy was in charge of it… I really can't put my finger on why I liked it so much. But I think this is why; there's a split-second near the end of Mission: Impossible III where Tom Cruise drops his patented slappable oversincerity to goof around at precisely the moment that you'd least expect him to, and you actually forget what an irritating turd Tom Cruise can be. Thank god the feeling doesn't last – I get the impression that I'd be out of a job if it did.
Shawn Lindseth
Mission: Impossible III
There were an awful lot of movies in '06, and if I had to pick a best one, it'd definitely be my Aunt Lashanda's 13-hour camcordered wedding. It had love, it had drama, and it had my Uncle Ernie falling into the punch bowl.
Now if I had to pick a movie that was fully accessible to the rest of you, it's have to be Tom Cruise's Mission: Impossible III. Say what you will about the man, but he knows just how to make a movie.
CJ Davies
United 93
Christ, what happened to the blockbusters? Cack, one and all – from Superman Returns to Miami Vice to X-Men 3 to Pirates Of The Caribbean. Notable exceptions? Casino Royale was okay. I guess.
Lack of summer popcorn flicks aside, 2006 has thrown up a decent selection of gems. Borat made me laugh so hard I developed asthma. An Inconvenient Truth scared the shit out of me. Grizzly Man introduced me to the mindset of a lunatic. And Syriana restored my faith in intelligent multiplex cinema.
High atop all those, though – and that’s ‘high atop’ as in ‘several miles into the stratosphere’ – is the incredible United 93: a passionate, lucid and compelling account of 9/11 in all its horror. Quite ironic, then, that the same topic should inspire the worst film of the year – Oliver Stone’s utterly appalling World Trade Centre.
Chris Laverty
The Prestige
This year has seen a real quality resurgence at the movies. With the likes of United 93 and Superman Returns making some of the most impact, if not at the box-office then at least with public conscious.
Nevertheless, my personal favourite of ‘06 has to be The Prestige. A twisting git of a film that cleverly pulls the rug from under its audience by pretending to be period thriller, when in fact it’s a science fiction movie.
You’ll bust your head over the ending, though quite unnecessarily as it’s sitting there in front of you; you’re just too unwilling to accept it.
Matthew Laidlow
London To Brighton
Personally I thought it was a bit of a crap year for films. Really hasn't been anything of any interest that’s made me want to run down to the cinema and sleep out overnight in order to be the first one to the screen. Sadly, Hollywood must be running out of ideas, with it ripping off other films and calling them its own (The Departed), making pointless films about things we know about already (Anything on 9/11 like United 93 and World Trade Centre) or just making more sequels to stuff that isn’t really needed (The Grudge 2, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Saw 3).
But it’s not all been total doom and gloom on the film front from me, been a few decent things coming out. Borat, for example, shows how ignorant and prejudiced some people can be towards others, and Dirty Sanchez just made you wonder what goes through some people's minds,
However, if I was to pick one film of the year, it would be the independent film London to Brighton. A real gritty thriller about the seedy world of pimping and other taboo subjects. And it’s British too!
Tomorrow – the best TV of the year! Hooray! But what the hell kind of movies did you enjoy this year? Comments below please…