Kelly Brook, the only girl who comes anywhere near matching the sheer loveliness of Zooey Deschanel, is off the market again by the looks of it.
The buxom British babe, star of Piranha 3D and? probably something else none of us can quite think of right now, apart from that issue of Playboy she got her norks out for obviously.
Apparently the lovely Kelly has jetted off to the Maldives with her ex Danny Caprisun, a bloke what plays Rugby, that sport where big men give each other special hugs whilst wearing tight tops and shorts.
News agencies across the land have searched high and low for information as to whether or not the couple are back together, but apparently couldn't be bothered to actually call someone up or use any of their journalistic contacts. No, our intrepid modern day hacks have, once again, stayed in bed and decided that Twitter is the best source for news there is.
And why should we be any different? Kelly updated her official twitter, which we would plug here but if you can't use Google to find it you really don't deserve our time, with the following:
“In the Maldives pure Paradise couldn’t face battling Heathrow. Hopefully back Christmas day!”
Not that she's trying to rub in the fact that she's a stunningly attractive young woman with quite a considerable amount of cash and some pre-pubescent, pretend athlete boyfriend, with a name that sounds like a kids juice drink, that she can pick up and drop as she pleases, who can go on holiday to the Maldives while the rest of us have to sit in the bloody cold, looking out on all the happy people building snowmen as we're forced to sit behind a computer and type out ridiculous over the top diatribes about people more successful than themselves on holiday in the bloody Maldives!
In fact, we here at hecklerspray take it back, Kelly is no where near as lovely as our mysterious queen of hearts, Zooey. How could we have been foolish enough to even think she was!?
Not that we're jealous you understand?
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