It’s a brave man who’d try and burgle Guy Ritchie. Don’t they know he’s an expert kung-fu practitioner?
Don’t they know he’s a brawler? Don’t they know that his ex-wife Madonna might be visiting, and that if she is they might end up being apprehended between her veiny – yet unusually strong – leotard-clad thighs? More relevantly, don’t they know that Guy Ritchie lives in a ridiculously large country estate full of servants, and that they’d probably be caught the moment they broke in?
Apparently not, because that’s what happened on Monday. The servant thing, not the thing about Madonna’s thighs. That’d be gross.
Guy Ritchie knows a great deal about the criminal underworld, because all of his films have been about criminals, apart from Swept Away which was criminal. And that’s the reason why he could so easily apprehend the man who broke into his house on Monday.
Obviously by ‘house’ we mean ‘sprawling ?9 million country estate’ and by ‘he’ we mean ‘some of the people who Guy Ritchie employs as servants’. CNN reports:
Guy Ritchie’s country house was broken into Monday morning and his household staff foiled a potential raid. Employees for the filmmaker — who directed last year’s “Sherlock Holmes”? — came to the rescue as they nabbed a man in Ritchie’s home near Salisbury, Wiltshire, England, and turned him over to police. A man has been arrested but not charged.
You know who we feel most sorry for in all of this? The burglar. Who can blame him for trying to rob Guy Ritchie? There’s not a lot else to do in Salisbury, and it’s not like he’d steal anything of any worth, is it? At best he could probably make off with a couple of cardboard boxes full of unsold Revolver DVDs or a signed photo of Jason Statham. Stuff like that has absolutely zero market value.
But, hey, at least Madonna wasn’t visiting. That would have been awful. Picking on a scared old lady like that? Disgusting.
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