How’s about something a bit different for today’s SLACKERJACK?
So, you’ll need to actually download something (a fair bit, actually), install it and spend more than four minutes playing it, but… well… it’s Command and Conquer, for free, so shut up.
The original from the multi-million selling series, released about a billion years ago and home to some wonderful video of hammy acting (hence the large file size), Command and Conquer essentially made real-time strategy games what they are today.
It wasn’t the first and it isn’t the best, but it’s damn good fun and how many times does EA give away their classic titles for free? Increasingly often, you say? Well, yes. But still.
You take control of the do-gooders at GDI with their overpowering might or the sly baddies of NOD with their weaker, stealthier units. It’s a simple balance but it works.
Numerous units are available – tanks, men with guns, men with bigger guns, bigger tanks, flying things, huge lasers from the sky, nukes and so on and so forth. You use these weapons to blow ten shades of crap out of your opponent in increasingly difficult levels. And that’s it in a nutshell, really.
The main attraction of the game though (well, aside from the game), is the wonderful full motion video (FMV) sequences between missions, when non-actors take centre stage and inform you of your progress, or how they hate the evil-doers, or how they’re going to blow up the Pentagon to show them there goodies a thing or two about international terrorism.
It’s a nice reminder of a pre-9/11 time when things could be made involving terrorism and didn’t have to include endless moralising, or some self-satisfied Hollywood prick masturbating their holider than thou stance into our faces. The bastards.
And Joe Kucan is excellent as Kane, leader of NOD.