Yes, this is a game called Action Turnip. What of it? Oh, shut up.
Action Turnip is actually quite wonderful. It’s basically Canabalt – because isn’t everything these days – but better. Action Turnip is better because a) you get to shoot things, b) there are all kinds of bizarre retina-mangling power-ups available and c) there’s a turnip in it. What more could you possibly want, really?