Madonna
Sorry
Warner Bros
Madonna (CDs) is enjoying one of her Teflon-coated phases at the moment. The album? We’re loving it. The shaky marriage? We’re fascinated by it. The dodgy leotard? We’re putting up with it. Yup, it seems that every little thing she says or does, we’re hung up, hung up on her. And with good reason. Sorry, the second single from her triumphant Confessions On A Dancefloor album, is another modern disco corker from La Ciccone. Who else could sound sexy saying sorry in Polish over a bassline pilfered from The Jacksons‘ Can You Feel It? She apologises in nine other languages too, you know, which suggests that the concept’s something of a novelty to her. Well, after twenty years of superstardom, a good fifteen of those as the Queen of Pop, “sorry” probably isn’t a word she’s forced to utter that often.
More singles reviews anyone? Good, there’s more after the jump – from Maximo Park, Idiotboy, Simon Webbe, Corinne Bailey Rae, Westlife and Michael Jackson…
Maximo Park
I Want You To Stay
Warp Records
Here at the ‘spray we have a bit of a soft spot for Maximo Park (CDs). Singer
Paul Smith has a penchant for jaunty hats (but not in a Boy George
way), often sports a combover (but not in a Mr Burns way) and sings in
a northern accent (actually, in quite an Arctic Monkeys way, if we’re
honest). I Want You To Stay, the fourth single from the Park’s A
Certain Trigger album, is another slice of hooky, tuneful indie
goodness. It’s a bit more restrained that previous singles, but the
melancholy melody and Smith’s yearning vocals ensure it’s no less
satisfying in the long run. He just doesn’t sound like a man with a
combover, does he?
Simon Webbe
After All This Time
EMI UK
Simon Webbe (CDs) has somehow become the most successful former member of
Blue (that said, did anyone ever think Anthony Costa had a serious shot
at solo stardom, I’m A Celebrity or no I’m A Celebrity?). After All
This Time, the third single from his platinum Sanctuary album, is
another mid-tempo, middle-of-the-road, midway between flat-out mediocre
and almost-quite-good daytime radio pop. Apparently “the boy with his
arms wide… made her feel like an angel” and that, you lovely little
‘spraylets, is why “she’s loving him still after all this time.” Phew!
Nice to clear that one up, eh? This single, like Webbe himself, is
neither interesting nor soulful; but it’s sure to find an audience.
Well, someone’s gotta plug that Lighthouse Family-shaped hole in the
mum-pop market, haven’t they?
Corinne Bailey Rae
Put Your Records On
EMI UK
She’s a little bit kooky; she’s got an extraordinary voice; and she
manages to looks elegant whilst cycling in pop videos. That’s right,
Corinne Bailey Rae (CDs) is a record company A&R man’s wet dream: expect
an extensive TV advertising campaign very, very soon. Put Your Records
On, the second single from her upcoming debut album, is a nice catchy
slice of summery soul-pop. But can we fault it? Yes we can! Here’s the
thing: us ‘sprayers would much rather listen to this single whilst
enjoying a picnic in the park in July; it seems a bit unfair to have to
relegate it to
‘journey to the bus stop with wet kneed jeans clinging to our pasty legs’
status. But hey, at least this way it’s (almost) a nice cure for
Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Idiotboy
Burn
Nabouchaka Records
What’s your favourite Radiohead album? OK Computer? Glory hunter. Pablo Honey? Don’t be so wilfully obscure. Kid A? Get out of town, sunshine. No, the best Radiohead album is obviously The Bends. That’s not what we think, that’s what Idiotboy think. We know this because Burn sounds exactly the same as Radiohead did when they made The Bends. Exactly. Idiotboy’s single isn’t anything out of the ordinary – it’s loud, epic, a bit miserable and it doesn’t flick our switches. It’d storm Stars In Their Eyes Kids, mind you.
Westlife
Amazing
S Records
A great philosopher once remarked, “after nuclear holocaust, all that
will be left are cockroaches and Cher.” In the light of their
logic-crushing continued success, the ‘spray would like to propose the
addition of Westlife (CDs) to that list. Worryingly, this makes the survival
of the human race dependent on four – three, if we think about it –
mediocre Oirish balladeers and a woman whose finest moment comprised
thrusting her borderline cameltoe in our faces whilst straddling a
cannon. Poor old Mother Earth. Anyway, we suppose we ought to get back
to the single: Amazing is predictable, dated and charmless MOR pop. But
somehow Westlife’s fanbase refuses to dwindle as their appeal becomes
ever more unfathomable. What can the ‘spray suggest? Well, those
cockroaches will just have to get used to the sound of badly trilled
Barry Manilow covers; Cher, on the other hand, should start thinking
about IVF treatment.
Michael Jackson
Thriller
Don’t Stop ‘til You Get Enough
Sony BMG
And so the Michael Jackson (CDs) singles reissue campaign begins. Thriller
and Don’t Stop ‘til You Get Enough will be the first of twenty Jacko ‘classics’ to be re-released in ‘dualdisc format’ over the coming
months. But what is this ‘dualdisc format’ they’re all talking about at
the watercooler/ on the buses/ down at the Legion? Well, apparently it
means you get the tune on one side of the CD and the video on the
other. How collectible! Nearly thirty years old now, Don’t Stop ‘til
You Get Enough remains incredibly exciting. That intro still feels like
the first time you nicked a bottle of red from your parents’ kitchen,
ran it round to Becky Johnson From Round The Corner‘s under your jumper
and drank ‘til you felt a bit wobbly. Unfortunately the iconic
Thriller, the ‘spray hates to say it, feels slightly turgid; it belongs
with Friends and Chris Tarrant in the ‘Do we have to love it just
because it’s an indelible part of pop culture?’ grouping. But it’s only
when you ponder the fate of the other two eighties megastars – Prince
stealing the show at this year’s Brit Awards, Madonna’s unfailing,
gold-plated star quality that even her increasingly creepy penchant for
leotards can’t dent – that you realise how far Jackson has fallen.
[reviews by Nick Levine]