Literally everyone on the planet has had a good chuckle at the recent Britney Spears VMAs 'performance' – apart from Britney Spears herself, who has started babbling about how she looks like a 'fat pig'.
It has to be said: this notion of Britters being overweight does strike hecklerspray as somewhat bizarre. We've watched the footage literally six million times now (look, it's our job, alright?) and her body shape seems pretty normal to us. So don't worry, Britneypoos – you didn't look like a fat pig at all. A drugged, shambling Alzheimer's patient attempting to do the Macarena, perhaps, but definitely not a fat pig. In short: certain members of our office probably still would. Y'know – after a few drinks and that.
And if you think that judgement's harsh, you should check out what high-trousered music maestro Simon Cowell has to say.
Simon Cowell – presently clogging up yer telly screens on Saturday night with the new series of X Factor – isn't too impressed with Britney right now. And this is the man who thought hoisting charisma bypass Shane Ward onto the general public would be a good idea.
Cowell mumbled thus:
"If I had been looking after Britney I'd have taken one look at her in rehearsals and I wouldn't have allowed her onstage. The song wasn't right, the image wasn't right and she just wasn't rehearsed. If she had turned up and given that performance at the X Factor auditions I wouldn't have put her through to the next round. The problem she has now is that she could have killed her career. It's difficult to come back from that performance, for a while at least."
Presumably, then, the Simester's career plan for Britney would be radically different from the one she has – less of the head-shavey going-mad stuff, maybe, and more of the good old-fashioned shitting out an insipid cover of Unchained Melody to snare the Christmas Number One before being dropped by the record label on January 1st and told to fuck off back to the bar job at Wetherspoons.
So, there you go, then: Simon Cowell thinks Britney's performance was rubbish. And has said so.
Ah, how we love slow news days…
Read More:
Simon Cowell: Britney Spears Has Killed Her Career – MusicRooms
yizzle says
nice article