(Not) So Shocking News- Jennifer Lopez Is a Bitch

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Rosie Perez vs Jennifer LopezFile this under “Shit we already know” but Rosie Perez has a new memoir coming out, and in it she’s calling Jennifer Lopez out for being a prima donna puta.   Apparently, even before Lopez was JLo, she was already the most unpleasant Latina from the block.

Rosie Perez has been a favorite of mine since White Men Can’t Jump so even though I don’t need much convincing about Lopez’s antics, I will easily take anything Perez says as truth.

Rosie Perez has been around the industry a long time.   Back in the day, she was the choreographer for the best comedy show of the 90s, In Living Color.  If you’re under the age of 20 and have no idea what that is, I suggest you IMDB that right now.   Homey the Clown was amazing.   Anyway, on the show they had a group of dancers called the “Fly Girls” who would randomly do the Tootsie Roll or the Butterfly and Perez was the one who helped pick the girls within the troop and put together their dances.

One day, a young woman with caterpillar eyebrows and a massive ass showed up to auditions and caught Perez’s eye.  Her name was Jennifer Lopez, and she brought all her rice and beans to the yard.  Perez says she immediately was into Lopez, and wanted to bring her on.  Keenan Ivory Wayans, the show’s creator,  thought she was “chunky and corny” and didn’t want to hire her.  Whattup Keenan to getting on my Christmas card list this year!  But Perez insisted, and Lopez was hired.

Quickly, according to Rosie, the other dancers began to get sick of Jennifer’s bullshit.

“All of the girls were coming into my office complaining how she was manipulating wardrobe, makeup, and me, all to her advantage.’

In typical Lopez fashion, JLo lost her shit on Rosie and pulled the “They’re just jealous!” card.  Perez said that Jennifer pulled out her Kmart gold hoops and became “some ghetto biatch, screaming and pounding her chest.”

“You pick on me, me and only me, every fucking day! Every fucking day! I work my ass off, deliver and you keep pushing me aside, treating me like shit! I know I’m good! I’m better than any of these girls, and you know it.”

Perez should be grateful Jennifer didn’t start singing instead of screaming. That kind of damage to your ear drum can’t be easily corrected.

Over the years, the feud kept going. After Jennifer got super famous, Perez said she tried to contact Lopez, but she was totally ignored.  Rosie says Lopez was talking a lot of trash though, saying Perez treated her “like shit.”  One night they ran into each other at a club, and Jennifer tried to play phony nice in front of the crowd, so Perez ripped her a new asshole  Damn, I wish people had cellphones with video taking ability back then because I would love to see feisty little Rosie going hard on that stuck up bitch.

Now everyone is wondering what kind of response Lopez is going to have to this, but I really don’t care.  Jennifer can say til she is blue in the heavily worked on face that she isn’t a diva, but we all know the truth.  Besides,  Perez is God damn “Click the Camera” from Diego.  That bitch has never steered that tiny little Spanish boy wrong, and I don’t believe she’d do it to us either.

Also, “chunky and corny” has me giggling every time I read it over again.  I will now forever associate those words with Lopez.

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