Scarlett Johansson used to be famous for her subtly layered and extraordinarily mature performances in movies like Lost In Translation and Girl With A Pearl Earring. Now she's just famous for her tits.
In Touch Weekly magazine has published a poll of Hollywood's Best Breasts, probably for no other reason than to crush any dreams that its readership may have ever had about feeling even semi-decent about themselves for the rest of their tear-stained, minimum-wage single mum lives. And the winner of the Hollywood's Best Breasts poll is none other than Scarlett Johansson, who must be feeling thrilled that the poll has ensured that no man will ever be able to look her in the face again.
Scarlett Johansson is refreshingly honest about her job. Most actors whine and whine about their 'craft', trying desperately to make up some highbrow justification for getting paid millions of dollars for dressing up as someone else and reading some words rather than just admitting that they're doing it to get laid more easily. But Scarlett Johansson is different – she's already admitted that she isn't proud of her films and she thinks acting is a pretty stupid job.
But compared to what she's most famous for these days, acting must seem like rocket science. Because a new poll has revealed that Scarlett Johansson is the proud owner of the best breasts in Hollywood. Not that this news comes as any kind of surprise, though; earlier in the year, Scarlett blew Keira Knightley out of the water when they both got naked together for the cover of a magazine.
As well as the magazine incident, Scarlett Johansson also likes to talk lovingly about her boobs – which she has named 'the girls' – and interviewers have been known in the past to just lean over and grope them without invitation.
One person who won't be pleased about Scarlett Johansson having the best breasts is Jessica Simpson. Or rather, Jessica Simpson's Dad, because he sure does love his daughter's breasts. But it's too late for arguments – Jessica Simpson only has the second-best breasts in Hollywood, and Scarlett Johansson has the best. Which at least takes the heat off her weird upper lip. Here's the full top ten list of Hollywood's Best Breasts, according to In Touch Weekly:
1. Scarlett Johansson
2. Jessica Simpson
3. Salma Hayek
4. Halle Berry
5. Jessica Alba
6. Tyra Banks
7. Jennifer Love Hewitt
8. Rebecca Romijn
9. Lindsay Lohan
10. Brittany Murphy
Read more:
Scarlett Johansson's Hooters Win Best Breasts In Hollywood – Post Chronicle
[story by Stuart Heritage]