It’s Sam Fox. She’s been bitten by a cat. But not just any cat – Sam Fox has been bitten by a cat that might have rabies. That’s dangerous – if Sam Fox caught rabies, then there’d be a very real chance of her biting and infecting some of the other big name she gets to mingle with. Imagine it – Dean Gaffney, David Van Day, Wee Jimmy Krankie, the third girl from the right in the second to last Envirofone advert, all with rabies. Nightmarish.
Luckily, Sam Fox is now undergoing rabies treatment. So that’s good news. Or news. Alright, in actual fact it barely even counts as news. Shut up.
It’s moments like this when we truly know what it is to be part of the circle of life. Recently a fox attacked a baby. And now a cat has attacked Sam Fox. Oh, the majestic symmetry of the natural world. Next thing we know, a badger will attack a cat, and John Parrott will attack a badger, and a baby will attack John Parrott, and the circle will be complete.
But back to the case at hand. Sam Fox went to Thailand and all she brought us was the news that she might have contracted an acute zoonotic brain-inflaming virus after getting bitten by a mental cat. Metro reports:
The wound went down to the bone – but she soon found out she had something more serious to worry about. “When I went back to the restaurant to tell the owner what had happened, she said the cat that had bitten me was known locally as a ‘crazy cat’, which is what they call the ones they think have rabies,” Samantha explained. She was given anti-rabies injections at a local hospital.
Obviously we wish Sam Fox all the best. However, this news has given us a brilliant business idea – a calendar of past and present Page Three girls with serious infections. Obviously for starting the trend, Rabid Sam Fox would have to be January. February could be a photo of Linda Lusardi after she’s been deliberately exposed to Swine Flu. Then for March, April and May we’d have Melinda Messenger (Meningitis), Keeley Hazell (Dengue Fever) and Nikkala, 24, from Middlesex photographed during the explosive double-ended after-effects of the Norovirus.
We’d buy it. Phwoar.