As someone who once teared up during the films Drive and Crazy, Stupid, Love for the sole reason that I knew I was never going to get to sleep with Ryan Gosling, it pains me to announce that that is probably true for every woman other than Eva Mendes, because those two got secret married.
This isn’t like a recent thing, apparently it happened earlier this year, but those two are private AF. First they have two secret babies that I have never seen, then they get secret married. I’m actually really offended that they are refusing to let me be a part of their lives. They don’t know how to celebrity at all.
You shouldn’t be at all surprised to learn that I have absolutely zero information about their wedding or when/where it took place, only that it happened earlier this year and I guess everyone is really happy or some shit.
Ryan and Eva have two daughters, Esmerelda, 2, and Amada, 4 months, and I have never seen either of these presumably gorgeous children. And believe me, I’ve Googled!
This is legitimately the closest thing I could find, and you can’t even see Esmerelda’s face!
In all seriousness, major kudos to these two for being able to live such an insanely private life when there are so many jerks like me out there who feel so entitled to your business. It’s like, I want to see your kids, but I appreciate that you don’t let me.
I mean, we live in a world where I’ve basically seen a couple of the Kardashians get colonoscopies, so it’s kind of refreshing when super attractive, super talented celebrities keep their business to themselves. That being said, if E! airs a special episode where Khloe Kardashian gets a pap smear, I’m totally PVRing that shit.