People, get ready for four full months of nerve-shredding anticipation – the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame inductees have been announced.
And are we ever excited. In just 79 short days we’ll get to see the likes of Run-DMC, Metallica and Bobby Womac get inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame – literally the place to be if you’re a fan of both brain-aching corporate bureaucracy and the sight of people old enough to be your grandparents unironically dressed up like teenagers and looking a bit confused.
We can’t wait. We literally can’t wait. Oh, no, our mistake. We can wait. Sorry.
The thing we love most of all about the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame – even more than watching a handful of creatively-spent old men who all hated each other for decades being forced together for the sake of an ultimately meaningless award – is the show’s process.
We’re being serious. The voting and presentation of the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame has been specifically designed to maximise the public’s excitement. First comes the incredibly long voting procedure, followed by a big announcement of some of the bands who might make it into the hall. Then, just four short months later, the inductees are finally announced. And then, just four short months later, there’s the induction show itself. Whew! Talk about whistlestop!
So hold onto your hats, everyone, because we’ve just reached the blistering middle stage of the process. The 2009 inductees for the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame have just been announced, and there’s only a third of a titting year to wait until anyone does anything about it.
So, then, the names of the bands to be inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame this year – which you’re instantly going to forget anyway so there’s not really much point – are Run-DMC, Metallica, Bobby Womac Little Anthony And The Imperials, Wanda Jackson, Bill Black, DJ Fontana and Spooner Oldham.
Luckily, it seems like all the inductees realise that what they’re being inducted into is basically just a showy circlejerk for music industry insiders and that none of it really matters, as Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich told Newsday:
“[It shows] we are part of the big picture. We are a link in a chain of everyone that’s come before and everyone that’s come after you. I love how it all fits together.”
OK, so maybe not all of the inductees realised that none of it really matters. But, credit where it’s due, Metallica are a link in chain of everyone that’s come before and everyone that’s come after. They’re quite an obvious link, too, because all the links before them are quite good and the link at the other end of the chain is Fred Durst. They must be so proud.