It seems like only yesterday 80% of all women and gay men here in the United States were decked out in their Sunday best at 4 am, obsessively?watching Prince William marry Kate Middleton.? It was a real life royal wedding, and as a country where RuPaul is the closest thing to a queen we got, it was glorious.
Then last year, these two beautiful people made an adorable baby for us all to swoon after.? But a year has come and gone, and the excitement about the soon to be toddler has waned.? But thankfully for us, Prince William has spread his WASPy sperm again, and another royal baby is on the way.
Prince William and Duchess Kate are wasting no time becoming the blue blooded version of the Duggar Family (Or so fancy shmancy designers of baby clothing everwhere hope).? Their son, Prince George, was born basically just a hot minute ago, and already Kate is pregnant again.? Now, by hot minute, I just mean just over a year ago, but what can I say I like exaggeration.? Anyway, the couple has announced that yes, Baby George will be big brother in just a few short months.
“Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are very pleased to announce that The Duchess of Cambridge is expecting their second child.
The Queen and members of both families are delighted with the news.
As with her first pregnancy, The Duchess is suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Her Royal Highness will no longer accompany The Duke of Cambridge on their planned engagement in Oxford today. The Duchess of Cambridge is being treated by doctors at Kensington Palace.”
Hyperemesis is a bitch from what I hear, so that certainly sucks for Kate that she is having to go through that crap again.? Although you know the Queen is like, “Bitch quit whining, it’s just a little nausea.? Now pinky up when you vomit, dear.? Class always.”? Queen Elizabeth ain’t got time for no bullshit.
Sadly, this new baby means that the Hot one, otherwise known as Prince Harry, will be bumped from 4th in line for the throne to 5th.? Not that anyone really thinks Harry has any desire to be King.? Too many responsibilities.? Kings certainly can’t go to Vegas, hang out with drunk strippers, and play naked poker.? Nor can they wear Nazi costumes and get white girl wasted at the bar.? But younger brothers with basically no chance of having any real authority?? Get your double fisting on, Harry.
Oh, and what did the hunky Harry have to say about the news?
“I can’t wait to see my brother suffer more.”
Clap, clap, clap.