Rod Stewart is one of the most unlikely sex symbols in history. Face it, he looks like a melted waxwork of Sarah Jessica Parker crossed with a dead leopard and a nylon bag filled with hammers. Yet somehow, women still want to have sex with him.
One sexual encounter produced a child called Kimberley who, rather than suffering the misfortune of looking like her father, is a carbon copy of Joely Richardson. It’s eerie.
And now, the Russian doll effect continues as she’s about to give birth to a child after Kimberley swapped fluids with ice-cream vendor, Benicio del Toro (who these days, looks like Tim Curry if he lived in a tea pot). This means, for the first time, Rod the Mod is to be a grandfather.
However, this story has a very modern (and rather dull) twist! While Kimberley Stewart and Benicio Del Toro are indeed having a baby together, Del Toro’s spokesperson was incredibly keen to point out that the pair are not a couple.
In fairness to Kim, this is one of her better conquests. She has been seen on the arm/down the throat of Jude Law (who hasn’t?), Jack Osbourne (yes, really), Rhys Ifans and some people you’ve never heard of called Cisco Adler, Talan Torriero and Joe Francis. For all we know, the last three could work in chip shops.
Del Toro is quite the swordsman too, having had flings and romances with Alicia Silverstone, Scarlett Johansson and Minnie Driver.
Alas, Benny Boy isn’t one for settling down. Previously, when asked about it, he indignantly said:
“Why? Everyone says, “Why isn't he married?” But it's like, ?F***! Why do I have to get married? Just so I can get divorced?”
He also described his house as a cave, which makes us hope that his lounge looks exactly like the Vegas hotel room from his scenes in Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas, complete with flooded floor, crying painter girl and stabbed water melon.
He’ll be a great father!
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