If you’ve been on any terrible, hack-y blogs over the last week, then chances are you’ll have seen a clip that has been dubbed the ‘worst death scene ever’. The hilarious death is seen in a 1974 Turkish film called?Karate Girl, which I’m assuming is about a woman who is proficient in martial arts. The scene has shitty acting; shitty camerawork and shitty editing. It’s a shit trifecta, if you will. Is it really the worst death scene of all time though?
I’ve conducted some thorough research, and I have discovered the following clips. Each taken from a film (or television series), I believe that these scenes could also qualify for the coveted spot of the worst ever. Take a peek and decide for yourself.
Before we start, here’s the hilarious death scene from the Turkish film:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR6Cw_3q1Pg
?Live and Let Die
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Myc6HpJzgaU&feature=related
To tell you the truth, there are a number of James Bond death scenes that are just as bad as this one. In fact, most Bond movies are just the exact fucking same story with different actors every time. Anyway, this scene comes from the extremely racist?Live and Let Die.?In a last ditch effort to get rid of evil mastermind Dr Kanaga, Bond places a gun pellet into his mouth. Somehow, this causes the villain to float to the top of the room; and explode.
The best part of this death is just how convoluted it is. I mean, their final fight took place in a pool with a shark in it. Couldn’t Bond just drown the guy; or escape and let the shark do its thing? It would’ve been slightly more believable than turning your nemesis into something from the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade.
Enter the Ninja
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EvPvfVOUV8
I always maintain that the ’80s was the best decade for everything, including movies. My life wouldn’t be worth living were it not for cheesy movies from the ’80s. That’s why I was lucky to find this gem. Enter the Ninja?follows a newly-qualified ninja as he plays with nunchuks and has sex with ’80s women.
In his white robes, our hero looks more like a Klan member than a ninja. That doesn’t stop him from using a throwing star on this stereotypical drug dealer. As he dies, the man makes a noise more associated with constipation than death. Not forgetting that he is in the ’80s, our villain doesn’t forget to try a bit of jazz hands before his demise. Amazing.
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nzd0R_OeOc
Shark attack movies are by far the best of the ‘animals gone wild’ sub-genre of horror.?Lake Placid? Are you kidding me? That tosh couldn’t stand up next to masterpieces like?Deep Blue Sea?and the?Shark Attack?franchise. This particular bloodbath comes from the third entry in the franchise. You’ll be happy to know that this movie lives up to the expectation that sequels are progressively worse than their predecessors.
This Megalodon must be a particularly hungry shark. Like all movie sharks, it has a penchant for eating people, and jet skis, apparently. The only thing worst than the ropey CGI is the sub-sub-par acting. The sweaty orange guy is my personal favourite.
Desperate Housewives
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLggdrCp168
This is it; the death that launched 1000 court cases. Apparently, Nicollette Sheridan was a fucking pain to work with, so the bigwigs at ABC decided to write her out of the show altogether. To add insult to injury, her death is the most humorously unrealistic to ever appear on a nighttime soap. And that’s saying something; as it is a genre with fairly shallow roots in reality.
If I was Ms Sheridan, I would’ve refused to film the scenes. Instead, I would have demanded a more elaborate death; involving an ancient prophecy and at least three dragons. Go big or go home; that’s what I say.
Deadly Friend
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSW2pPlZF-M&feature=related
Let’s save the most ridiculous for last shall we? The fact that this movie stars Kristy Swanson should give you an indication of its quality. The?Mannequin 2?star doesn’t have the best eye for scripts, as proven by?Deadly Friend.?The movie stars Swanson as a teenage girl who is beaten to death by her father. In an effort to bring her back to life, her friends place a chip from a self-aware robot?inside her head. Swanson’s character awakens and proceeds to go on a murder spree.
What does our Kristy use to kill her evil neighbour. A basketball. She throws a basketball at the woman’s head and it smashes to pieces. The headless woman then shuffles awkwardly around the room until she finds a nice place to die.
I told you the ’80s were amazing.