The transfer season may well be over, but the biggest football transfer of the year has just taken place. That's right, after having their contracts terminated by Sky Sports, public whipping boys Richard Keys and Andy Gray have signed for conference side talkSPORT, in a deal said to be worth roughly the price of a few Fray Bentos pies.
Gray and Keys, or to give them their proper names, Tweedle-Chimp (have you seen how hairy Keys’ hands are? They’re not HD friendly, that’s for sure) and Tweedle-Chump, are to host a new show every weekday from 10am until 1pm.
Presumably the show will primarily involve Gray and Keys explaining the off-side rule to female callers.
A Sky Sports mole, who wished to remain nameless, described news of the signing as, ?unbelievable, Jeff.?
we're not quite sure who Jeff is, but we let the rambling idiot continue, despite the fact he seemed oblivious to the fact Gray and Keys had left. ?Really? are they gone?? the mole continued, ?I must?ve missed that. I saw them go off but I thought they were bringing a sub on.?
Reports we just made up also state that Gray and Keys? new show will feature a variety of special guests, which come in the form of legends of the game as well as respected football pundits.
Keys himself did hint at the fact some guests feature more regularly than others, he was heard to exclaim that during rehearsals for the new show, ?you could have gone round there any night and found?Redknapp hanging out the back of it.”
Gray has found the transition from TV to radio hard though. He's become paranoid that, without being able to draw a mess of incomprehensible lines across the screen, his analysis of key match points will degrade into a series of strange grunting sounds and attempts to put the microphone down his trousers (with or without the assistance of the nearest female colleague).
With Gray, Keys and Stan Collymore all working for talkSPORT, you've got to wonder how scared both the female talkSPORT employees are getting.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group or BUY ONE OF OUR STUPID T-SHIRTS!