There's something truly amazing about being able to download games straight to a mobile device without having to blow into a cartridge, or wipe the back of a CD and wait hours for something to install, only to crash on the first playthrough.
?Unparalleled convenience? some might say. Of course we wouldn't say that because that would be a compliment and compliments are only given once a year. You know this.
That said, mobile gaming is pretty nifty isn't it? We can choose, download and realise a game is a dud before the initial crowning is over during Toilet Time. It's as simple as a Kardashian, and almost as easy. Booyah! Unfortunately Superman is one of those games that you regret buying almost immediately after opening the app for the very first time.
“Become Superman and act like a self-congratulatory dickhead!” Reads the description in the App Store.
Although the idea behind the game is strikingly original; a 2D adventure flying around Metropolis putting out fires, throwing booby trapped cars into space and blasting asteroids out of the sky, unfortunately the common trap that mobile gaming falls into rears its ugly head once again.
“What's that recurring problem?” We hear you shout before offering your ill-informed opinion on the latest Twitter outrage. Well the controls. No one has yet to perfect onscreen controls without them becoming a fiddly nightmare. Someone should realise that gamers don't want to have a large proportion of the screen taken up by our dirty nails and bitten fingers. Who would want that? We all know that people with dirty nails are thought worse of than the letter ?Oh, I'm a consonant, now I'm a vowel, I'm so flirty? Y.
It's good having the option to zoom around Metropolis in your pants and a cape, but eventually you lose patience having to rearrange yourself time and time again because you've overshot the destination with the control stick, or supersped away from the speeding car by pressing the wrong button.
Although it is a wallet-friendly price, this doesn’t mask the fact that essentially it has the same failings as many other portable gaming titles. Give it a whirl if you want to, we don't care, we have citizens to save!
Is it a bird, is it a plane? No, it's HECKLER MAN!