Following on from the cultural apocalypse of The Manchester International Festival comes Batman Live; another intellectual tour-de-force which sees everyone's favourite schizophrenic do battle with a bunch of villains for two-and-a-bit hours at the glamorously named Manchester Evening News Arena.
It's worth noting, straight-out-the-gate, that this isn't really a story about The Dark Knight (old Bruce gets all of three words in during the first half) and, if we were being pedantic, Batman Live really should be called Robin & A Bit Of Batman Thrown In To Sell Some T-Shirts.
Really, Batman Live is a story about Robin (arguably the most soporific character since Dr. Snoozy Time – a fictional character created for the sake of this article) and for the majority of the show, we're treated to the world according to the Boy Wonder; his likes, dislikes, favourite colour and preferential pizza topping. Straight away, It's frustrating to watch as, mainly, we just want to hang out with Batman, watch him punch people in the jaw and then drive off in the Batmobile to pick up women. Instead, we get Dick Grayson rolling about the stage making enthusiastic ?gee-whizz? noises.
Even then, what we do see of The Dark Knight is rather tame. This isn't the snarling creation of Christoper Nolan and no-one in Batman Live gets dropped from a tall building or bashed in the skull with a Bat Bat. In Batman Live, Bruce Wayne is a bit of a wet fish.
Imagine Michael Keaton as the warm-up act to a promenade Punch and Judy show and you're halfway there; the first proper fight scene, reminiscent of the scraps in Team America, sees the caped crusader and Catwoman swing around in the air stroking each other?s faces.
It's frustrating because Batman is such an interesting character and it seems a waste to limit the stage-time of one of the most iconic superheroes in favour of the irritating sidekick.
Despite the most devious roster of antagonists since a Commons Select Committee hearing, our time with The Riddler, Penguin, Two-Face, Poison Ivy and The Scarecrow is limited to three minutes a pop. And it's a shame, because what we do get is quality meat. There's a great scene in Arkharm Asylum which sees a 12-foot Scarecrow freak the crap out of Batman, while the chap who plays Penguin has sinister dripping from his oily pores. This isn't to say that the show’s primary villain, The Joker, isn't good (in fact, he's rather decent), but it rather seems a waste to shoehorn these iconic villains into the show for a mere two-minute cameo.
But Batman Live does have its moments. Spectacular moments. Scene changes take place via a comic-book animation on the giant screen behind the stage (basically, it's geek catnip to those who religiously follow the series) and there are some very nifty special effects; a bazooka blows a hole into a giant balloon shaped like The Joker, while the demise of The Graysons (and their acrobatic antics beforehand) is heart-in-mouth stuff. The appearance of the Batmobile is also a nice moment and watching it drive around stage is always going to be special stuff.
Batman Live is an excellent show, it really is. The stages are great, the fight scenes are choreographed to the second and you can tell a lot of money has been thrown behind the whole thing (it's touring across the globe over the next five years). It is a solid two-and-a-half hours of silly entertainment and you should all go.
But, it's not really Batman. Not our Batman, anyway.
As an audience, we've grown familiar with tortured, sucks-to-be-me Batman. We expect him to growl, swear and kick people in the face; the re-boot of the film franchise has convinced us that this type of behaviour is how Batman acts. Batman Live has having none of that – it's an homage to the days of Adam West and George Clooney; where the joker bursts out of a jack-in-the-box and Catwoman uses purring as a type of foreplay. Kerpow! and all that jazz.
And there's nothing particularly wrong with this sort of Batman (and for a kid?s show it probably couldn't work any other way). Although, if you're looking for a good time down the gritty streets of Gotham, you're likely to be disappointed.
This was a guest review from the formidable Tom Mason who has calves to die for and a face that could arouse Chief Commissioner Gordon.
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