Imagine the fun you could have standing over Renee Zellweger and Sandra Bullock while they both sit before each other, taking it in turns to cry and do their best impression of melancholy. Just imagine!
Well, that’s what has been happening as Renee took her peculiar face to Bullock’s house and let all the water fall out of it.
They probably said things like “men are so not worth it”, before toying with the idea of some sorrow induced mock-lesbianism, but never actually getting round to it because neither actress has any sort of sexual allure or prowess. As such, they probably watched a film and ate cheap Chinese food from those cartons you’ve seen in films.
Of course, Zellweger has just broken up with some character called Bradley Cooper, so she needed someone to comfort her while she did a cry. Sandra is the perfect choice because she’s just had a high-profile divorce from Jesse James after he stuck his penis into a string of women that weren’t Sandra Bullock.
Together, the pair will have no doubt bonded over the fact that they’re both from Texas and invariably mused about the potential of giving the electric chair to their exes.
Their dirty, rotten, no-good exes.
That’s because the rumours floating around Hollywood are that Bradley Cooper, star of the dismal ‘The Hangover’ managed the near-impossible by having sex with someone behind Renee’s back. That’s two whole women in the world willing to have intercourse with someone who starred in The Hangover.
Amazing.
Better yet, one of the rumours is that Cooper had sex with Sandra Bullock. How fantastic is that?
A friend of Renee’s says:
‘She tried to make it work, but in the end it was too hard. Her friends feel bad it ended, but she’s okay’.
‘She hasn’t been working because she wanted to really put time and energy into the relationship and now she’s going back to work’
This means there’ll probably be Bridget Jones 3 then. Gah.
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