It’s Always Sunny in Philadephia is, without a doubt, the funniest show on television. Yeah, Modern Family and Parks and Rec are amazing; but It’s Always Sunny … is the only show that has me doubled over laughing on a regular basis. That’s why I was so excited about the return of the show on Thursday night.
In the premiere episode of the eighth season, the gang certainly didn’t disappoint. Mac, Charlie, Dennis, Dee & Frank all delivered the goods; but that’s not what I love most about the show. No, my interest in maintained by the show’s array of weird and wonderful supporting characters.
The following five characters only appear a couple of times per season, but their amazingness makes them a welcome addition to what is already a fucking perfect TV show:
Matthew ‘Rickety Cricket’ Mara
Matthew Mara is referred to as ‘Rickety Cricket’ by the gang, due to his leg braces. In high school, Cricket suffered terrible bullying at the hands of Mac and Dennis. Their trademark was to ‘teabag’ (put their balls in his mouth) him and take pictures.
Despite this, Cricket managed to become a Catholic priest. However, after a number of run-ins with the gang, his life gets progressively worse. Throughout the series, the gang have gotten him excommunicated, contributed to his homelessness, made him a coke addict and even slashed his throat one occasion. His infatuation with Dee has allowed her to manipulate him to do her bidding; largely to his detriment.
Cricket is also affectionately called ‘Street Rat’ by Frank.
Artemis
Artemis is introduces to the series as a local actress and friend of Dee. Much like most of the show’s characters, Artemis appears when the gang needs to exploit her talents. For example, she helped Charlie write his musical, ‘The Nightman Cometh’, and assisted the guys in trying to work out who got Dee pregnant.
Most of Artemis’ humour comes from the fact that she is incredibly promiscuous. She constantly talks about sex and admits that she doesn’t “remember most evenings.” Artemis has an on-off relationship with Frank, during which the two have sex in dumpsters behind fast food restaurants.
Maureen Ponderosa
Maureen was Dennis’ high school girlfriend. Worried that he may never marry, Dennis reconnects with her and the two get hitched. Dennis immediately regrets his decision when he realises how annoying she is. Maureen is unemployed, and expects to live off of her husband. In her spare time, she makes bejewelled sweaters with cat faces on them.
When Dennis tells Maureen that he wants a divorce, she begins to punch herself and put the blame on Dennis. One of her most striking features is an off-color tooth at the back of her mouth. The rest of the gang fixates on this, with Frank simply referring to Maureen as ‘Dead Tooth’. After their divorce, Maureen gets a diamond placed on the tooth with Dennis’ alimony money.
Gail the Snail
Gail ‘the Snail’ is Dennis and Dee’s cousin, whom they reconnect with at the funeral of Gail’s father. The gang call her ‘Snail’, because she used to follow them around during their youth and in order to get rid of her, they would throw large amounts of salt at her.
Frank begins to have a romantic relationship with Gail, his niece (not blood related). This doesn’t last long though, after he finds her too irritating. While receiving a hand job from her, Frank comments that she is “just mashing it”.
Despite being in her 30s, Snail is incredibly immature. She still lives with her mother, and craves the attention of others.
The McPoyles
The McPoyles are by far the show’s most disgusting characters. Liam, Margaret and Ryan are the most regularly featured of the large family, who can be recognised by their eczema and unibrow. The three siblings permanently wear pyjamas, only drink milk and – most disgustingly – have sex with each other.
Margaret is mute, and only communicates though a series of blinks and moustache-licks. Her brothers gave a penchant for stabbing people, and continually want Charlie to fist bump with them. Their presence has diminished over the years, but that doesn’t make them any less horrifying.