I always like to judge a person’s level of fame by whether or not my dad knows who they are. For as much of an egotistical douchebag that Kanye West is, you do have to admit that he is famous.
Not only does my dad know who he is, but he knows that West knocked up “OJ’s lawyer’s slutty daughter with the butt.”
Ray J on the other hand? Even after a handful of examples of who he is using television roles, genealogy, and hook ups, the most my dad now knows is that Ray J tapped that slutty daughter also.Ray J has been living in D list world for many many years now. He is, however, one half of the infamous sex tape starring Kim Kardashian that unfortunately allowed her to infiltrate our televisions for many years now.
For that alone I wish he could get shipped off to Guantanamo and be forced to watch Kim’s ugly cry face non stop for the rest of his life. Seriously, it’s a terrifying image that’s eternally burned into my brain. I shouldn’t be the only one to suffer.
See, that shit is scary.
Anyway, so because being Moesha’s little brother wasn’t enough to keep Ray J relevant, every few months he pops up out of nowhere to remind everyone that he is guy who pissed all over Kim on film.
He also takes credit for her being who she is today, which is something I’d personally want to deny no matter how much proof there is otherwise. (Like when I get confronted about eating all the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms box, and I deny the hell out of it even though there’s a sticky mushy balloon stuck to my cheek. Don’t judge me.)
A few months ago, Ray J released a song called “I Hit It First” which he of course claimed was SO not about Kim. Never mind the lines about making another movie if she came back to him, or that the chick has gone from north/south in his bed to choosing to go West (get it?), or that the cover art was actually a heavily pixelated photograph of Kardashian, the track was definitely not about Kim and the “West” line was not about Kanye.
Everyone waited for Kanye to make some sort of comment about the diss, but it never came. Suddenly last night while on Jimmy Fallon, West changed some lyrics in his new song “Bound 2″ to finally give a little something back to Ray J.
“Brandy’s little sister lame man he know it now/When a real brother hold you down you ‘sposed to drown.”
Really Kanye? That’s it? All these years of building tension, and your multiple Grammy winning ass comes up with that? That is so anticlimactic. It is like the ending of “The Village” all over again.
At least I can take solace in the fact that I know that within the next few days, Ray J will be popping up all over the place talking about the diss and probably giving me great material for future articles.
He is probably creaming himself with excitement over knowing that people are talking about him again and that his name is trending on Google.
The fact that people are typing “Who the hell is Ray J?” in the search bar is no issue. Ray J gives a whole lot of no fucks about that. He’s just grateful he’ll get enough dollar bills from upcoming interviews to pay his rent this month.