At time of writing the world was reeling at a bizarre clash at the important Glamour Woman awards.
Patrick Stewart ? X-Men star and Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise ? became involved in a surreal exchange with bloated smugmeister James Corden.
Corden- famous for being overweight, partially responsible for an underwhelming sitcom and laughing sycophantically on unwatched panel shows so hard that everyone hoped he would pass out ? hosted the much regarded event.
According to various news sources, at one point Stewart criticised Corden for slouching about with his hands in his pockets whilst the actual awards were being given and the camera was off his huge fat needy face.
And that he could see his big muffin-top gut.
Responding to genuine criticism of his lack of professionalism and likeability, Corden responded with the statement that he could see Stewart ?dying?, clearly unaware that this was not an open-mic event at a holiday camp ? surely Corden?s natural home.
In a further reference to an earlier achingly-unfunny line from the gurning tubby fool ? in which he unamusingly claimed to ?fancy? one of the Jonas Brothers ? Sir Patrick Stewart suggested Corden might want to lose some weight if he were to stand a chance of having homosexual sex with a pretty boy massively out of his league.
Again, sound advice from a knight of the realm. All concerned shuffled about a bit and stared at their feet until it was all over…
Alcohol was not thought to have been involved.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter