Well it seems society is in the process of having a mental breakdown this week as the News Of The World, any politician that was ever important, Rebekah Brooks, the Murdoch Regime, and Andy Coulson are fed to the wolves and the users of Twitter for this phone hacking business.
We look forward to reading all about their various messages and inner most thoughts, that they carelessly left lying around in a locked safe, in The Sunday Sun.
So while all that's been going on, the shambles that is the music business has been quietly churning out videos for bands you've never heard of and The Pigeon Detectives, who are apparently ?back?. Nobody told us.
It's a terrible week to be a musician, never mind make a comeback or, rather, attempt to make a comeback. Not only is everyone waiting for Rebekah Brooks? hair to burst into flames and reveal a cyborg with a Murdoch Corp military grade weapons system where a brain should be, but the final segment of Harry Potter is bull rushing its way into every cinema in the universe.
Wait! If NOTW is closing down does this mean we can't get our free wizarding sticker books and cut out scars? Bollocks.
Anyway, The Pigeon Detectives are well and truly Avada Kedavra’ed. After the success of McFly on The Cube a few weeks ago we think it should become the first band challenge show and if you don't go at least five rounds you aren't allowed a record contract.
Back to music videos then and The Pigeon Detectives manage to be even more average than they sound. ?Lost? is a mediocre top five single in waiting, but a live video, really guys? Really? It even has a grainy filter over the camera lens to make it look more vintage. It's not even bad, just unnecessary. They show us shots of people clapping and queuing up outside the O2 Arena which would be believable if this wasn?t The Pigeon Detectives.
2008 was three years ago now and yet the members of this band seemingly haven't had a haircut which means you still have to look those curls in the eye and wish Matt Bowman would get some terrible, debilitating disease. This is a terrible music video that doesn't even deserve the moniker, it has less imagination than the song, and the four year old boy who looks so happy when handed a set-list should be ashamed. In fact a much better video would be him tied to a chair with someone just tearing the set-list up in front of him while he cries.
WATCH THE PIGEON DETECTIVES VIDEO HERE
That person you all know is a Crazy Bitch has a new single out this week. If you guessed Avril Lavigne then you're right on the money as the amazingly ‘punk’ princess sets about shattering your ears and sense of self-worth with ?Smile?.
And, as well as being hot, she’s got a message and everything as she wanders the streets collecting bits of broken red glass; a metaphor for her heart which, if you listen to and decipher the lyrics, has been stolen. If you were stupid enough not to understand that then don't worry Avril explains it all, not as well as Clarissa might, with a shot of a lovely heart shaped piece of glass at the end. Her hair is black and green because she is punk rock and she uses spray paint and swears like the cool kids do.
Like any true artist Avril Lavigne shows us she is deep by using black and white scenes in her video. It's too emotional to say more, but when that woman smiles good god you will be overwhelmed.
WATCH AVRIL LAVIGNE’S VIDEO HERE
In a land where music is innocent, happy and fun The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart reign supreme and the video for their single ?The Body? is everything the song indicates it will be; sun-kissed. Queue montage of growing up.
WATCH THE PAINS OF BEING PURE AT HEART HERE
What's brilliant about this video is how it manages to take every advert ever made and wrap it into one four minute sales pitch for a better life. Lovely.
Bloody hell Steven Tyler we love you. If you haven't seen the video for his new song ?(It) Feels So Good? then you have permission to leave and watch it on a loop for the rest of the day. Gobsmacked is an understatement.
This is classic Tyler having sex with the camera through his clothes, he even has the same microphone stand with the scarves tied round it; it must be the same stand and not that he just transports the scarves so don't even think those sort of ludicrous thoughts. This video is the best thing eyes have ever seen; it has monkeys, birds, elephants, leather, and the most successful stripper in modern music, Nicole Scherzinger. Oh yeah and a reference to Shakespeare.
As well as all of that, did you really think it was over? Steven Tyler can be seen slapping a ladies bottom. There really is nothing better than ageing disgracefully and never let anybody tell you otherwise.
WATCH STEVEN TYLER’S VIDEO HERE
THIS POST WAS WRITTEN BY LAUREN MULLINEAUX WHO HAS A SURNAME WE MAY NEVER BE ABLE TO SPELL CORRECTLY WITHOUT CHECKING
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