Coldplay are doing a song with Rihanna, Coldplay are doing a song with Rihanna, Coldplay are doing a song with Rihanna, Coldplay are? oh you get the point, but how exciting is that?? It's undoubtedly going to be the best track of the past twenty years and will appeal to every human on earth because, well, how can it not?
Have you heard a song by either Coldplay or Rihanna recently, ?just think about that for a second and when you've recovered look outside and say, ?Hurricane what??
While you're stuck inside until the 24th of October waiting for the worst titled album the Bono School of Charity Rock has ever released and you're trying not to get snapped like a twig in your now wishy-washy coastal town then why not look at some of these musical videos while nestled in your duvet drinking hot chocolate, it's what we're doing.*
Everybody?s favourite half of the most credible pseudo novelty act around has just released a cheap new video for his second track before doing a solo tour. In his first solo video Scroobius Pip shaved his hair off and cut his iconic beard and now we?ll never know if it was true because the sanctimonious misanthrope has only gone replaced himself with a tattooed lady. In fact there are three ladies here, the other two representing P.O.S and Sage Francis, they are all terrible actors.? Or, maybe it's the cheap looking video, but hey fella?s got a budget to stick to.? The song?s good though, plus he's lovely and political and all that other stuff you vacuous idiots enjoy.
Sticking with the rap thing we've started, let's move swiftly from clever to ironic parody and look at the new Das Racist video for ?Michael Jackson?.
Look at them, just look at those three, they have no idea what they are doing and yet somehow they manage to make a video that is a perfectly acceptable level of tacky and crass. It looks a bit like a toddler?s toy box was sick on a green screen and then Das Racist rubbed it on themselves while filming the results.? For a group who founded their career on mockery it makes perfect sense that they have a song about MJ that simultaneously rips the rug out from under the feet of politics, religion, commerce, defence, and pop culture.? It's just what they do.
Okay.? Now is the time for your to get in your duvet because the next video is the best thing we have witnessed in about ten minutes and it's going to stay that way for at least another twenty while we hate ourselves for not having bothered to jump on the Los Campesinos! bandwagon sooner.? There video for ?By Your Hand? features E.T, lots of cats, a horde of?
…s that aren't even Barbie, but probably Cindy, Polly, and Shelley, her male counterparts action man, Ken, G.I Joe, and lonely Ginger doll are also present.? Its brain curdlingley twee and even while someone is gently hammering a nail through their steak aorta it's hugging your heart like that Red or Black contestant is his money.? If you don't feel just a little bit happier after seeing this then the number for Samaritans is at the bottom, but you should probably just give up anyway. ?If music videos were items of clothing then this would be a woolly jumper. Treasure it.
If the sub-zero/tropical climate outside has not subsided yet then call yourself a meteorologist because we're going home, you can't rely on music videos forever you junkie. Besides it's like October 24th?in just over a month and we have to prepare ourselves.
*Really we're still thinking about ?Princess Of China? (Google it.)
As promised here are the numbers for Samaritans:
UK:?08457 90 90 90*
ROI:?1850 60 90 90*
Do the right thing.
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