It really is heartwarming that our beloved Royal family have decided to take some absolutely typical Normal Just Like You And Me Pleb Citizens under their swannish wing, eh? Thank Christ for the Middletons.
The very normal Middletons are just like us, they really are. Apart from being already wealthy, having a penchant for wax jackets, having toilets made of diamonds and the whole Pot Noodle Doesn’t Make Up 90% Of Their Diet?thing.
And of course, Pippa Middleton is unique and special because she has a famous posterior which, astonishingly, went skiing in Sweden without melting the snow with sexy vibes. How does she do it?!
Pippa’s arse completed a 56-mile cross-country ski marathon in Sweden.
The backside of the sister of the Duchess of Cambridge (the artist formerly known as Kate Middleton) finished the Vasaloppet ski race in 7 hours, 13:36 minutes, alongside 15,800 competitors.
And because Pippa Middleton is so wonderful and amazing, he rump told?Swedish broadcaster SVT that she had only prepared for the race for ?a couple of weekends?? and admitted it was tiring.
Is there no end to the talents her buttocks possess?
We’ve read somewhere that this particular skiing competition is one of the world's oldest cross-country races and is based on Gustav Vasa?s attempt to gather peasants for a revolt against occupying Danes in 1522.
Of course, Denmark went onto make Carlsberg while Sweden became the most nude country in the world.
And yet, despite their history, neither of them compare to the unswerving majesty of Pippa Middleton’s two buttocks and a poo-hole combo.
It really is the Jesus we deserve.