Lisping, limp-wristed rocknut Pete Wentz got divorced from candy floss brained Ashlee Simpson and everyone remembered how surprised they were when they heard the pair were getting married in the first place.
What did some emo ballbag ever have in common with a glazed cherry of a woman? Apart from the mutual simpletonry of course?
Either way, the pair slowly closed their mouths and blinked into the sunlight while it quietly dawned on them that, in fact, they didn’t have a damn thing in common apart from some offspring. So they decided to split and now they’re having incredibly polite arguments in court (the most they’ve ever spoken to each other, ever).
Wentz, whirring his tiny little brain with all the effort he could muster responded in court to his Simpson’s divorce filing with one of his own, which he probably wrote in his best joined-up handwriting.
Sadly, any brains he may have forged over the court appearance were soon dispelled when everyone remembered what the child was called in the custody battle – Bronx Mowgli.
Is that related to a Bronx Cheer in anyway?
Basically, this crashingly boring pair have agreed that they should both get to see poor little Bronx Mowgli (who, when he’s older, will no doubt divorce the pair of them) with Simpson saying that she be awarded primary physical custody, with Wentz only getting visitation.
Sounds reasonable?
Oh, she also wanted spousal support. Oh, and she wanted Wentz to pay her attorney fees as well.
Wentz said something in return, which was so dull, we’re not even sure we’ve got the will to finish this article.
In fact, we won’t. Instead, look at this video which pretty much sums it all up.
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