Back in the middle ages when disease was rife and we had to eat rat stew for supper, ones man’s literary vision entertained everyone.
Back then Shakespeare was the most badass rock and roll writer in the UK. But have books remained the best way to capture the youth’s imagination? No, these days it's all about expressing emotions via sound.
To sixth-formers everywhere, Shakespeare is as cool as the BNP. With the average teenager?s attention span, heartfelt poems and meaningful tales of woe need to be accompanied by music to hit home. Step in Pete Doherty. But never fear, teaching unions. His shoddy songs won't be used in GCSE exams any time soon. After all, Pete Doherty is a naughty drug taker and the big scary judges in court have given him a good telling off. He?ll probably do a big cry now.
It seems like our modern-day poet has an addiction to getting into trouble with the police. No matter what sort of helpful advice they try to inject into him, the former Libertines and awful Babyshambles singer just seems to reject it all. First of all, it may be useful to come to the terms that you are a massive drug-taking silly billy.
If you check his track record, Pete Doherty does have a bit of a reputation of getting into trouble due to being in possession of various drugs. Perhaps someone should tell him that walking around with various amounts of cocaine and heroin won't get you a citizen of the month award. Even if he swapped the skag for a My Little Pony, it would be a small step on the long road to recovery.
Now we assume that all of you Pete Doherty fans have just injured yourselves by dropping your textbook onto your foot. How dare we insult the greatest English poet ever? We know. He is like well good and that and makes properly good rhymes that make girls flash their tits and boys ponder their first homosexual experience, but only with him. Otherwise that would be gay. But bear with us. NME.com reports:
?Pete Doherty has been fined ?750 for being found with four grams of heroin in his coat pocket while at Gloucester Crown Court on driving charges last month (December 21).?
OK, so was this probably during a routine police operation known as Follow Pete Doherty Everywhere And Arrest Him Every Time Our Stats Are Down? Amazingly not. You see, Pete Doherty had actually turned up to Gloucester Crown Court on 21 December to face charges of driving like a bellend. So how does this relate to heroin allegations? Well, here?s one simple life lesson. Don't take hard drugs to a place where you will get into trouble for having them. NME.com reports again:
?Doherty claimed that he had not realised the heroin was in his coat pocket. The court heard that when the Babyshambles frontman had been asked to empty out his pockets by court staff on December 21 a plastic bag containing 13 individual wraps of the drug fell onto the floor.?
The work of an utter genius. Bravo Pete Doherty, bravo. And what tough sentence is going to be imposed on the singer who?ll no doubt receive sympathy hugs from malnourished girls everywhere? A ?750 fine and ?100 towards court costs. Scary or what?
Shall we give it four months before he returns to Gloucester for not paying the full amount? OK, maybe two at a push.
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