Penelope Cruz: ‘Grabbing Salma Hayek’s Arse Was A Mistake’

We can all get a little crazy sometimes, right? We all do the odd mad thing every now and then. Why, only the other day hecklerspray picked up a pint of full-fat milk instead of our usual semi-skimmed. Rock and roll.

Of course, such impulsive mania is invariably where regret comes in. Head-cradling shameful regret … something which ex-Tom-Cruise (DVDs) armpiece Penelope Cruz (DVDs) has been coping with recently.

At a recent photo-shoot / press conference for upcoming movie Banditas, young Penelope - who claimed to be ’sick with the flu and a little delirious‘ - suddenly decided to clamp her immaculate little digits onto co-star Salma Hayek’s (DVDs) backside.

‘I grabbed Salma’s ass to keep things moving,‘ was Penny’s bizarre justification. She then couldn’t help but notice that ‘the energy changed‘ after her buttock-groping outburst, puzzling as to why there were ‘magazine covers in Mexico describing us as lesbians because of that.’

Gosh, Penelope. What could possibly have given them that idea?

What really riles hecklerspray about this story is the blatant double-standard at work in our culture. Sure, sure, it’s fine for the high-and-mighty Ms. Cruz to go grabbing at Salma’s posterior. Whenever we try it, it’s court cases and restraining orders all the way.

Honestly. It’s one law for the rich, one for the rest of us ….

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[story by C J Davies]