If Peaches Geldof wasn?t the daughter of a moaning old rocker who pretty much called us pricks for not giving to charity, she’d be the sort of girl you'd see tapping furiously on a laptop in Starbucks all day and blabbing loudly on Skype.
With a face resembling curdled milk, she always looks like a combination of someone surprised and zoned out. Either everything is a surprise to her, or she takes a lot of ketamine.
Every time she appears in the news, we don't get to hear of any great deeds she's done for charity. Instead, she's either off her chops on drugs, accused of stealing clothes or having relationship issues. Basically, she's just a piss poor UK version of marriage mentalist Britney Spears and jewellery pincher Lindsay Lohan. For reasons unbeknown to us, Peaches Geldof keeps on getting TV work, with ITV2 giving her a ghastly show called OMG! With Peaches Geldof.
ITV2 is the equivalent of BBC3 where programming is commissioned for the respective network, all because it hasn't quite got the sophisticated factor to be shown on the main channel. While we know that it's designed to test the waters, the broadcasters labels the respective channels as ‘edgy’, ‘cool’ and ‘youthful’. Or, if you prefer, ‘totally gash’.
At times, we feel that ITV2 is used to give us never ending backstage footage of shows such as Britain?s Got Talent, X-Factor, I'm A Celebrity and Dancing On Ice alongside extended editions with seventeen seconds of extra footage. Occasionally, fresh programs are shown such as the never ending feud between Katie Price, Peter Andre and Alex Reid. But this a bit boring – what we want is something unique, visual representation of something that appears in glossy magazines.
We can only assume that OMG With Peaches Geldof is a programme that the producers aim to shock us with based on the 11pm timeslot that it has been given. Either that or, even before it was screened to the UK population, people involved with the making of the programme recoiled in horror about the monster they?d created.
Back in times gone by, pretty much before people could get their own decent internet connection, we marvelled at shows that showcased people who are open and honest about their weird activities. Kind of like a modern day Victorian freak show. But as websites like YouTube developed, the need to gawp at someone in a studio while a ringleader controls a hyena-like crowd isn't needed. Peaches Geldof has seen a variety of people waltz on to her show including blood drinkers and older ladies seeking younger men. All making for TV that wouldn't break the boundaries of a wet paper bag. Moaning as usual, she said of the negative reviews of her show:
“I like the language that people use, it’s fascinating and fabulous. I love to read a shitty review of anyone, including myself.”
We don't know what's next for Peaches Geldof, but with the way that higher education has been watered down, we expect that she’ll be lecturing students in how they can become successful at being famous for doing piss-all.
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