Peaches Geldof has decided to forge a career for herself outside of composing listicles for a myriad of otherwise credible media publications.
It’s just a shame that she’s being accused of breaking the law in her new line of work. It’s a shame because, according to multiple reports, the 22-year-old is turning quite a roaring trade.
It was reported yesterday that the daughter of Live Aid’s founder, Bob Geldof, and daughter of the late Paula Yates, had been accused of theft. Again.
Peaches was minding her own business, coating her fingers with something sticky, when she was phoned by a store she’d patronised the previous week, Three Amigos, in Camden Town.
We should imagine the conversation went something like this:
*Phone rings… Peaches answers, with sticky fingers that are getting all over the bloody buttons*
Peaches: What?!
Store: Hello, Ms Geldof?
Peaches: Egads, I’m caught… I mean, yes?
Store: Hello. It’s come to our attention that the items of clothing left in our store, since your flying visit, have become covered in something sticky; possibly honey. And it got all over our floor. The floor we’d just mopped!
Peaches: So you want your floor mopped?
Store: No. Well, yes. But we also want back that ?70 dress that went missing. Ugh, my fingers are sticking to our phone and my feet to the floor. I’ll have to phone you back. *click*
Pretending that conversation actually took place, we can deduce from our (not) scientific evidence that we… ate most of the honey with breakfast. Yummers.
The Daily Mail addresses the previous accusations that Peaches is a low-rent Lindsay Lohan/ Winona Ryder.
Staff at the Three Amigos store in Camden Town claimed that the garment disappeared after the 22-year-old TV presenter visited last week. One line of inquiry is that the alleged theft is due to a misunderstanding between the shop and Miss Geldof. The claims are the latest in a long line of shoplifting allegations for the socialite ? though she has always been exonerated. In March 2008, she was accused of leaving the Victim store near Carnaby Street with a ?500 dress she had not paid for. After store staff realised it was missing, they phoned her management firm and Miss Geldof returned to the shop and apologised, saying it had been a ?simple misunderstanding?.
See, it’s just another ‘misunderstanding’. Those are like buses, right?
This was a guest post by Amy Grindhouse, so three stinkin? cheers for that.