Paula Deen Totally Gets That “Black Football Player”

Paula DeenSlowly but surely, Paula Deen is trying to reclaim her lard based empire of deliciousness and hypocrisy after she screwed it all up.? She’s getting sponsors again, opening a new restaurant, and has done a new interview with celebrity ass kissers, People.? The tides seem to be turning for Deen.

Except that part of Deen’s biggest problem is her mouth, and considering the People interview was just one long gab session, it’s not surprising Deen put her deep fried foot in her mouth.?

Paula Deen was the queen of tacky grandma hair and the genius behind making a Krispy Kreme donut even more terrible for you.? She was riding high on the empire that clogged arteries built, and it seemed like it would never stop.? But then she got sued for being a racist cracker, and it all came crashing down faster than a diabetic after a sugar high.

Since then, Deen has been pretty quiet.? But now she is back and on a mission to reclaim her throne.? She has a new restaurant next to Dollywood, because old Southern broads stick together.?? She was given $75 million dollars to invest in her company.? And to celebrate it all, she gave an interview to a major magazine.? And she’s already letting the stupid fly again out of her drawling mouth.?? She had this to say about people associating “racist old broad” with her.

?I feel like ?embattled? or ?disgraced? will always follow my name. It?s like that black football player who recently came out. He said, ?I just want to be known as a football player. I don?t want to be known as a gay football player.? I know exactly what he?s saying. I?m fighting to get my name back.?

Uh.? Yea, no Deen.? I get that shit got a little tough for you, your net worth may have gone from 100 million to just 20 or 30, and maybe people didn’t look at you like their sweet old grandmother anymore.?? But I am going to say none of that really compares to what Michael Sam (Because that’s him name, ya old biddy) has probably had to go through in his life nor what he probably will.

And then of course Deen had to put her solidarity fist in the air for fellow Southern people hater, Phil Robertson.

?It?s amazing that some people are given passes and some people are crucified. I have new empathy for these situations, though. My dad always told me, ?Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.??

Well, when you totally push people to use deep fried butter as a midday snack, while secretly developing diabetes and only announcing it when you become a spokesperson for a diabetes drug, people are not going to really want to put their trust in you anymore.? Besides, hating on people who do stupid shit is way more fun than giving them the benefit of the doubt.? I would know.