The World Cup in South Africa was so underwhelming and blighted by vuvuzelas that the world turned its attention to a grotesque cephalopod mollusc. Yep, it was Paul the Octopus who idly sat on boxes with flags on them while slackjawed journalists clapped giddly, banging the glass of the tank.
And now, in utterly bewildering news, Paul the Psychic Octopus is to going to release an Elvis Presley tribute album.
If he gets any more famous, at least he’ll be ace at signing autographs with all those horrible little grabbing arms he’s got.
Paul has now been signed up to several endorsement and merchandising deals, according to DS. We’ve clearly walked straight into some dream-sequence. This can’t be happening.
The octopus’s agent Chris Davies (see? Who spiked our Corn Flakes this morning?) said: “There are books being written, a range of octopus toys are coming out this Christmas and there is even a new iPhone app.
“One of the most exciting things is that he has a record deal in place for an album, called Paul The Octopus Sings Elvis.”
Paul’s life is due to be documented in a film called The Murder Of Paul The Octopus.
Are they going to kill him as well?
*goes for a lie-down in a darkened room*
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