And we really bought all that stuff about them being apart because of Heather's operation on her leg, too… but more fool us, because Paul McCartney and Heather Mills McCartney are officially on a trial separation.
To think – if Paul had stayed with Jane Asher, he'd be much happier now; rolling around in a giant mansion made out of cake instead of moping around because he had a fight with his ridiculous self-serving monoped of a wife.
Professionally, Paul McCartney has had a pretty good year. He made a load of cash by finally selling out to a financial firm, he had a bit of a fight with Yoko Ono for old time's sake and he was beamed into space to entertain a couple of listless astronauts. Which is much more than we've managed to do – we tried to emulate him by shouting at a picture of Yoko Ono and singing a rubbish bland song to a man in a space helmet, but it just left us feeling empty and slightly self-conscious.
Personally, on the other hand, Paul McCartney hasn't had such a brilliant time. Apart from a funny little photoshoot together on the ice in Canada to stop seals being killed, Paul and his wife Heather Mills McCartney seemed to not be spending too much time together, with Heather apparently more interested in chasing Jennifer Lopez about while wearing a television and asking supermodels if they live "in a shed".
And recent newspaper reports suggested that things might not be so peachy in the McCartney household, with Paul McCartney spending his time either moping about in Sussex, moping about in London or moping about in France and Heather Mills McCartney recovering from a leg operation in Brighton. And now it's officialish: despite Heather's previous comments that:
"It's hilarious, of course we are together. Paul and I are still very much together. Paul and I are together 100%."
It's expected that an official statement about the McCartney separation will be made later in the day, but for now, here's a bunch of words from an anonymous source to The Mirror:
We've said it before and we'll say it again: he never shoulda split up with Jane Asher. Think of all that cake…
[story by Stuart Heritage]