At the moment, the UK is currently being gripped by an incident so worrying and terrifying that big name directors are already battling for the rights to secure a Hollywood account of it. Gripped by the elements, Jack Frost has grounded transport, stranded thousands and given countless individuals an easy excuse to skive off work.
Remember, this is in the UK where a few flakes of snow cause TV stations to dispatch hundreds of journalists to the scene so we can see what snow looks like in York, Slough and Oldham!
In LA, the weather is normally warmer with the exception of the occasional earthquake, though Cumbria recently enjoyed its own. There, (LA, not Cumbria) Paris Hilton wasn?t stuck behind a threatening snowman, instead a flight she boarded an unwanted visitor, a big sharp pointy knife!
Due to the heightened paranoia over air travel after terrorist attacks, travelling via an airplane isn't as fun as it used to be. Children were once freely allowed to visit the pilot in his cockpit as he flew holiday makers to their destinations. Now, your air driver is locked away in a small room where if he passes out, nobody will be able to run in and steer the plane to safety. You know, like in movie films.
As per usual, there’s few details with this sort of story. We don't know if it was something we?d call a big fuck-off knife that could be used to slice open an elephant, one of those industrial knives that Gordan Ramsey would use to threaten a diner with or, in Paris Hilton?s case, a cutlery knife that could be used to butter a rock-hard airline bread bun.
Because Paris Hilton is the sort of person to follow stupid diets such as licking raw chicken breasts while listening to audio in while underwater, she is subsequently so thin that she wouldn't be seen if you stood sideways. Therefore, a child?s pretend knife for a doll set would be seen as gigantic in proportion for her. Writing about the incident she said:
?We were about to take off then security made everyone deplane because they found a big knife on board the plane. Scary that it got on plane.?
We?ll break up what happens next in a non exciting way. Kind of like when the adverts interrupt Emmerdale, Hilton continued by saying:
‘They just finished the security sweep of the plane. About to board again. So strange a knife got on board. Can’t wait to get to Maui,’
Turned out it was a box cutter, left on the plane by airport staff.
Stupid idiots. Bet it didn’t stop them from being suspicious of everyone who got on the plane. Still, at least Paris didn’t end up confusing mints for cocaine again…
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