Pamela Anderson’s Married So Many Guys, She’s Doubling Back On Herself

Pamela AndersonBrace yourselves, this one might take some getting used to. Pamela Anderson has actually managed to keep some part of her private life…private.?

Forget Tila Tequila, the original president of the exclusive ‘Two Sex Tapes’ club quietly remarried Rick Salomon over the holidays and we are two whole weeks into 2014, still ?with no sign of physical proof that they’ve consummated their love! Wonders never cease, guys.

Pam turned up to Sean Penn’s Help Haiti Gala looking like the ghost of Miley Cyrus’ future, complete with a rock on her ring finger that could have sunk the Titanic.

Pamela Anderson 1

It’s lovely to see that celebrities are reacting to the polar vortex that you guys are dealing with across the pond by making sure that their formal wear is knitted. When an E! reporter asked about the ring – they go through a rigorous boot camp to make sure they ask about who’s boning who before they get around to the charity – Pam confirmed the good news, saying:

“Yes…we?re very happy. Our families are very happy and that?s all that matters.”

She only confirmed that she was back together with her ex in October, on a trip to the Ellen show. The pair were previously married in 2007. That was the Vegas wedding, not the bikini one. That was Kid Rock. Or Tommy Lee. Or possibly both, it’s hard to sift through the pages and pages of Google results for ‘Pamela Anderson wedding’.

Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon

They were married for two months before they separated the first time round, so at least they don’t have to stay together long to beat their previous record. It was Pam that filed for an annulment, citing fraud as the reason for the split. Presumably, she’d had the time to Google his name and find out that he’s the guy that starred in and leaked Paris Hilton’s sex tape, and divorced Shannen Doherty after less than a year.

Nevertheless, it’s round two for these guys and round four overall for Pammie – only four more until she achieves the Elizabeth Taylor Award for Services To Divorce Attorney’s Yachts!*

*Not a real award.