Pop scamp Olly Murs has insisted that there’s nothing going on between him and his Xtra Factor co-host?Caroline Flack despite there OBVIOUSLY BEING SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN HIM AND HIS XTRA FACTOR CO-HOST CAROLINE FLACK.
The Ex-Factor (hur hur) runner up has flatly stated that his flirty relationship with Ms. Flack is just that. Flirty and there is absolutely nothing going on that in any way involved nights of screaming passion where young Olly needs to “hold onto his stupid-looking trilby hat”.
Nothing at all.
Even though Olly’s mum found all those condoms under his bed and a little “Caroshrine” in his wardrobe. There’s absolutely nothing going on. Stop suggesting there is. Seriously. He doesn’t like it and neither does Caroline. Probably. No-one thought to ask her.
‘I’ve never snogged her,’ says?Olly. ‘I’ve never got hold of her, I’ve never seen her naked.’
Olly’s a sensitive lad and he does prefer for the lights to be switched off when things get intimate although there is no accounting for why he insists on playing Joe McElderry’s version of “The Climb” on repeat. Everyone’s too polite to ask that in interviews.
‘I swear on my family’s life we’re not together!’
There are a lot of literal-minded people in the world and everyone here at hecklerspray hopes that he’s not been playing around with his co-host because we once saw his family on X Factor and they looked like a nice bunch. We’d hate to see them killed by some overly-righteous One Direction fan.
Okay, fine. We know there’s probably nothing going on (right now) because speaking of Wand Erection, the 32 year old Caroline was recently seen ramming her tongue down the throat of the 17 year old “curly-haired one” from One Direction, Harry Styles. Which is totally fine and everyone’s just jealous that she’s so young and is yet still able to “hook up” with someone almost half her age. It’s totally fine. There’s absolutely nothing morally questionable about that. He’s grown up a lot in this past year. He’s a celebrity now, yeah?
Even Olly seems pretty pleased about it. Supposedly the real thing will never live up to the glory of the Caroshrine. He told stunned onlookers,
‘They’re both single so they can do whatever they like. Harry likes older women and he’s always openly spoken to me about how much he likes?Caroline.’
Presumably once Harry’s finished his A Levels there will be wedding bells on the horizon. If that’s not enough to make you shudder, we don’t know what is. Still, spare a thought for Olly. It must be hard to have all those women throwing themselves at him.