It's not easy writing an article about Suge Knight. The task is always accompanied with the irrational fear that before you even write your last paragraph, you'll end up buried somewhere between Tupac and B.I.G. – with bullet holes in your best polo shirt no less. That's a fate hardly fitting an article of clothing that we stole off our favourite grandfather's Mexican Groundskeeper. Honestly, hip hop can be so disrespectful.
But don't worry, old chaps! Knight's free writing fodder now! He's very poor, and can't afford the weaponry generally associated with breaking knees or putting caps in the many buttocks' of his enemies. Not only is Knight poor, he's down to his last $11 in the bank – according to a statement he made last May. Since then we've heard he bought a bag of Red Vines and a butt-load of Pixie Stix. So yeah, we all know where that leaves him.
The meat of this story, though, is that a federal judge just ripped Death Row records away from Knight, citing: "It seems apparent there is no one at the helm". Now a bankruptcy trustee is running things down there. We'd like to know if this new guy knows anything about hip hop, and if he's gonna have any signing power. If the answers there are 'no' then 'yes', we're desperate to find our Mr. Microphone, and to know in which desk drawer our mother keeps her postage stamps.
Philip Banks look-alike Suge Knight is poor now, poorer than a hobo on the wrong end of a stick-up. He declared personal bankruptcy and corporate bankruptcy for his baby Death Row Records last April, in what was a feeble attempt to keep control of the label. It didn't work – a judge just ganked it from under him. Reason being, he owed lots of people lots of money, and he was too slow with the cheque signing.
A 2005 civil suit against Suge filed by a couple who claimed to have bankrolled Death Row's infancy ended with Knight being ordered to pay $107 million to the couple. They thought their early financial help entitled them to 50% of Death Row's over all earnings. Knight claims this was the very large straw that broke the camel's back. He's since filed a counter suit for $106 million. The civil suit loss was Knight's fault, as he missed lots of court dates making the end result a very easy decision for the judge. More recently Knight kept repeatedly missing meetings with creditors, directly causing the Judge's label yanking actions. Suge needs a palm pilot.
The end result of all this, as we've already stated, is a bankruptcy trustee has been placed in charge of Death Row. He's going to turn the label's assets and possessions into cash to satisfy their debtors. We are all very curious to see just how this trustee's gonna liquefy all those Wendy's wrappers that must be crumbled and piled under Knight's desk. We've got a similar pile, and really want to know if it's valuable before we have our child slaves toss 'em.
Now let's go over Knight's options here. #1 – He could regain his street cred by signing hecklerspray to a three album deal minimum. As soon as we find decent rhymes for the lines butterflies aloft on a gentle wisp, Hark ye cloud prancer, and human frailty fills us with a very fathomable regret, we are gonna have the dopest song.
It's OK for serious rappers to call them 'songs', right?
Read more:
Knight Faces Bankrupcy Takeover – BBC
[story by Shawn Lindseth]