Denise Richards, who is famous for being pouty and picking astonishingly awful boyfriends is apparently being all pouty and stepping-out with wildly inappropriate Nikki Sixx. Seeing as Richards used to go out with bug-eyed chandelier bullier Charlie Sheen who is well known for having ‘allergic reactions’ to class A drugs, you’d think she’d be wary of swapping spit with recovering addict Sixx.
Richards’ kids must love it when mummy comes home with one of her new boyfriends, all dead-eyed and puke-stained.
Apparently, Richards and Sixx have been neighbors for a long time, meaning that she actually knows what he’s like and crucially, they both have lots in common with each other. Like a fondness for slow mental erosion and self destructive behaviour.
A source assures that the couple are ‘taking things slowly’, which could be seen as an act of being sensible, however, they might be taking things slowly because that’s all they’re able to do, living their lives at a snail’s pace because their brains are so ravaged by Hollywood excesses that they both resemble a dance-off in a home for people suffering from Parkinson’s Disease.
The couple was spotted having breakfast at Marmalade Cafe in California, which in celebrity terms, is as good as having sex with one another in full view of prying, public eyes.
One witness gives a harrowing account of that morning, saying:
“Nikki was telling stories, and Denise was laughing”
Sixx alluded to a someone special on Twitter on Friday night, revealing he had
“a midnight rendezvous planned with a beautiful maiden”.
How sweet. It almost sounds like he means it, doesn’t it? Of course, after Charlie Sheen?s hilarious watch-based meltdown in New York, Richards is doing her best to keep her children away from the headlines.
After helping the foamy mouthed Sheen to hospital after the incident, she’s vowed to keep her children ignorant of their spectacularly dimwitted father and replace him with Nikki Sixx would looks like a transvestite scarecrow on his way to an Alice Cooper convention.
She said
“Thank God our girls are young enough — they’re 5 and 6 and you know, I do my best to protect them from certain things… and so today they came with mom to a few interviews, they went shopping, they went to the zoo, so they’re enjoying New York.”
Though, they’re probably not enjoying the nightmares they’re having of that funny man with a black mullet who keeps going on about being in Motley Crue all the pissing time.
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