…UNICEF bombs the Smurfs to promote a message of peace. That’s the official line, anyway: we blame those Moomin bastards. Either way, £10 says Angelina Jolie will have adopted the crying Smurf baby by the end of the week – UNICEF Smurf bomb video…

…Hey Metrosexuals! Get out of town! Anybody who is anybody is an Ubersexual these days. Except, um, nobody really knows what one is. But Pierce Brosnan is one. So is Bono. We’ll sit this one one out, ta – Top 10 ‘Ubersexuals,’ aka Men’s Vogue cover models – Jossip…

…There’s a good chance that an ancestor of James Blunt features on the Bayeux Tapestry. He should be easy to spot – he’ll be the sappy lank-haired soldier surrounded by Frenchmen holding their ears and begging for mercy – Blunt The Conqueror – Yahoo!…

…Note to Boy George: 13 bags?! – George home ‘had 13 cocaine bags’ – BBC…

…That’s the spirit. A group of Americans are planning on saving up enough money to pre-order one of each next-gen videogame consoles, just so that they can smash it to pieces on the pavement in front of all the queueing fans – Smash My PS3 official website…

…Keira Knightley is happy to take to take her top off and kiss a girl, but won’t get her arse out for her shitty-looking new film – Keira picks her bum for Domino – Zap2it…