A fast round-up of what’s happening in the hip world of celebrity…

…Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler’s wife is divorcing him after 17 years of marriage. hecklerspray would divorce him too, after seeing him shake maracas like a drunken special needs gibbon at the Grammy awards…

…Goldie is to celebrate 10 years of his ‘groundbreaking’ record label Metalheadz this Friday. It’s unclear how he will then go on to celebrate his ‘groundbreaking’ 10 years of releasing self indulgant wank like Mother and being the worst thing in both Eastenders and that James Bond film…

…Bruce Willis has praised Justin Timberlake for his acting abilities. Although this is a little bit like Harold Shipman praising other doctors for their bedside manner…

…Brit Award winner Joss Stone is likely to rank highly in this year’s FHM Sexiest Women poll. This will hopefully lead to the future inclusion of likeminded ‘Urban’ icons in the listings, such as Pam Ayres, Jilly Cooper, Marjory from the W.I and your Mum…

…Top of the singles chart this week is Get Right by Jennifer Lopez, a passionate plea for today’s holidaying drivers to remember that although we drive on the left hand side in England, many other countries do not…

…Producers are thinking about casting Elizabeth Hurley as a witch in the new Harry Potter movie, as they have "always wanted someone beautiful and mystical to play Bellatrix". Notice the absense of the world ‘talented’ in that quote…