Neil Patrick Harris has responded to yesterday’s Associated Press article which suggested he would like Britney Spears banned from the set of How I Met Your Mother by saying what he meant to say was that Britney is welcome back anytime!
That’s a bit strange, isn’t it? Why on one day (yesterday) would someone say: “I’m in the minority that our show does not need stunt casting in order to succeed”, and then one day later (today) say: “As I have said all along, Britney did a great job on the show. She really did. In fact, we are all hoping that she returns rather soon to reprise her role as Abby”?
What could have happened to change Neil’s mind so drastically in such a short space of time? Hmmm…
Let’s delve deeper. Why on one day would someone say: “I mean, viewership is not our game. It’s the network and the studio’s game, you know”, and then the next day say: “Look, that episode garnered our highest ratings of the season — I would never ignore or disrespect that fact”?
It really is just so strange. What do you think might have happened? We just can’t figure it out. To help you decide, here is yesterday’s Neil Patrick Harris quote, in all it’s glory:
“I’m in the minority that our show does not need stunt casting in order to succeed. I worry that if they start `Will and Grace-ing’ us too much, that the show will suffer. And we’re all really proud of the content of the show. I mean, viewership is not our game. the network and the studio’s game, you know. It’s the promotion department’s game… We wish we weren’t opposite an awkward reality dancing competition. But we have no say about that. I just am a real fan of our content. I think we have a great show going, and I hope it’s not screwed up by the desire for 700,000 more viewers.”
And here is today’s Neil Patrick Harris quote, in all it’s glory:
“It seems that yesterday a writer took some quotes of mine and speculated an opinion about their intent. I write to you to set the record straight. As I have said all along, Britney did a great job on the show. She really did. In fact, we are all hoping that she returns rather soon to reprise her role as Abby. Look, that episode garnered our highest ratings of the season — I would never ignore or disrespect that fact. I am just very protective of our show, and its content. I have a high standard of quality, and hope to maintain it on every level. Television is big business, I understand that. I have great faith in our casting department, as well as [Twentieth Century Fox Television] and CBS, to find the appropriate person for every role on our show. I was remiss in speculating otherwise. My job description is to act, and I should really do just that. Britney Spears fits into our make-believe world very well — if she chose to return I can only imagine that Carter [Bays], Craig [Thomas], and the rest of the writers would create a humdinger of a storyline for her. We should be so lucky.”
Wait – shhh! Did anybody hear that? It sounded suspiciously like a corporate whip cracking across some jumped-up actor’s arse. You know the sound we mean? Don’t worry, if you don’t, it was probably all in our heads anyway. Just read on and find out:
At first, the Associated Press stood by their story. AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington said:
“I respect his right to change his stance, but…Neil Patrick Harris told us unequivocally that he did not believe that Britney should be on the show.”
But, a few hours later, the AP had also seemingly changed their mind. Jesse Washington stated:
“We’re issuing a clarification to our story. Harris did not say that he opposed a return engagement for Spears, and our lead said that he did.”
What the hell is going on here? Can’t anyone just say what they mean first time? What kind of a world do we live in if we can’t trust an TV actor and an entertainment editor to get their facts straight? A bloody horrible world! A world run by ‘leads’ who run amok, anonymously stirring up shit and then anonymously taking the blame.
But luckily for you, the editors of this particular entertainment website don’t fuck about. If we say we’re unequivocal, then we will remain that way, so suck on this equivocation you fickle fucks:
Neil Patrick Harris is man who, for a second, believed his bollocks were bigger than they were and, for a second, gained the respect of hecklerspray for speaking some well thought out truths, but ultimately is nothing more than a corporate shill pussy who needs to shut up and know his place in the world – as a rubbish actor in a rubbish TV show watched by rubbish people in a rubbish world.
At least, that’s what our lead told us, before he scampered off with a cheeky grin on his face. We’d like to issue the following statement:
“We’re issuing a clarification to our story. Harris is not a a corporate shill, or a pussy, or a rubbish actor. He is a top, top man and we love him and wish him and his show all the best.”
God, that whip smarts.